ROOSTERS DURING AN ALL-NIGHT SITTING. AIR-" The Young Cock cackles as the Old Cock crows." We are nearly driven wild, By the shine of sire and child, For all the young Cocks cackle as the Old Cock crows. Flapping wings and lifted bills are the horriblest of ills, Though the barn-yard chorus wants it most infernally. Chorus. For you see it is the system, as the whole world knows, That the Cock-a-doodle Chorus night or day must never close. [crows. Echoed loud by every rival? From whom some might expect expostulation. night, For the mad Cock-chorus stick to it like leeches. Chorus. For it is a growing practice, as a sick world knows, That the dismal dunghill conflict should go on without a close. In every cockerel face You the parent passion trace, [crows. For young Cocks are bound to cackle as the Old Cock It is a frantic whim, and a gloomy fate and grim, At this wild hullaballoo, this mad Cock-a-doodle-doo, Chorus. Q. E. D. MR. A. W. DUBOURG's Vittoria Contarini, produced at a Matinée at the Princess's Theatre last week, deserves a better fate than a solitary performance in London. "An interesting story, told in vigorous English," is not a description that can be applied to every piece that attracts the attention of the British public, either for a morning" or a run," but is certainly appropriate to the latest Play of the surviving joint-author of New Men and Old Acres. The Venetian scenery was all that could be desired, but the dresses 66 66 For you see it is a shindy that disdains to close, And if England doesn't stop it, what 'twill get to, were eccentric.. Baron Falkenberg, head of the Austrian Police, for instance, goodness knows, The war of wing and beak Grows wilder week by week, appeared in his own office (where a disguise seemed superfluous) in the British undress uniform of a Royal Engineer, tempered with breeches apparently borrowed from a Major in the Line. The Officers of the Third Regiment For young Cocks are bound to cackle whilst the Old of Croats, too, evidently had a penchant for the dress-belts of a Yeomanry corps. Cock crows. The Italian aristocrats, not to be outdone in Anglomania by their enemies, affected patrol jackets that would have been appropriate in the barrackvards of a Militia battalion, and a regiment of the Royal Dragoon Guards. COURT CIRCULAR. - Chess-board directions for the But, after all, these were slight blemishes, and only perceivable to the trained Week, "White Queen" to keep on moving. Tears in the eyes of that poor little thing: Up gets a man, sings, "Two lovely black eyes!". eye of (say) a Volunteer Rifleman. The acting was not of the highest order of excellence, although both Mr. GLEN WYNN and Miss ADELA MEASOR distinguished themselves. To be hypercritical, the pronunciation of the surname of the heroine by some of the players fostered the notion that our worthy friend 'ARRY had suddenly joined the ranks of the Italian nobility. This, too, was not a serious drawback to the success of a performance which, considered as a whole, was at once interesting and commendable. More Latino and More Latin. (Copied straight from a Fellow-Etonian's Copy of Verses.) Ille, Cucurrit-imago-heu-nos Ecclesia-collis- Cur fecit nemo scit, sed, mirabile dictu, You might hear a pin drop-"Oh! what a surprise!" Hoc est nomen ejus Latiné jocularitur translatum, quod vocavimus " ludus super verba." SUBJECT FOR A HISTORICAL CARTOON TO BE HUNG IN THE WAR OFFICE.-Heads of Departments throwing off the Hood! A PUZZLER FOR PALMISTS.- Amateur Palmistry is now a Society fad. Wherever one goes, enthusiastic believers in the fantastic pseudo-science are earnestly scrutinising each other's "lines." Punch suggests a practical service which the palmists might render to a puzzled world. Let them "read" the Old Parliamentary Hand! ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. come Three. Long-pending crisis came. SMITH moved the Clôture. Irish Members unutterably shocked. "Shame! Shame!" they cried. Clôture, nevertheless, carried, division showing not less than 419 Members present. More Motions for Progress and again Closure. Four o'Clock in the morning. ESSLEMONT on his feet, evidently intending to move Progress again. SMITH now wound up to pitch of desperation, simultaneously jumped up and claimed hearing. Again the Chamber filled with yells and cries. ESSLEMONT with hands in pockets and head bent forward waited for hearing. SMITH with left hand appealingly held out to Chairman, demanded preference. "ESSLEMONT! EsSLEMONT!" cried the Parnellites. "Order! Order!" shouted the angry Ministerialists, who crowded the Benches opposite. COURTNEY called on SMITH. SMITH tried to speak, but voice drowned amid yells of Speak up!" Finally handed paper to COURTNEY who read out Amendment pro 66 posing that Section under discussion should forthwith be put. COURTNEY objected to this wholesale application of Closure. Decision received with ringing cheers from delighted Parnellites. More debate and divisions, and once more Closure as preliminary to carrying second section. House of Commons, Monday, May 9.-House of Commons adjourned, by common consent of majority, to Wild West, where BUFFALO BILL took the Chair at Half-past Four. The old place, consequently, almost empty. Amongst absentees, ARTHUR BALFOUR. Affection of Irish Members for Chief Secretary unbounded and uncontrollable. Always wanting to know where he is. Insist on his being on Treasury Bench, so that loving eyes may rest upon him. TIM HEALY gave expression to this feeling with impatient voice and manner. Threatened to move Adjournment next time Chief Secretary absent at question-hour. Presently BALFOUR came in, blushing like young girl at this somewhat embarrassing manifestation of personal affection. In his absence KING-HARMAN buffeted on all sides. Begins to think that, on the whole, he was happier below the Gangway, where he was able occasionally to invite TANNER to " outside." Now has to observe an air of official civility even when the amorous TIM, fretful at the absence of Chief Secretary, protests against being left to the mercy of "this Orangeman." Later, W. H. SMITH had a turn. Proposes on Thursday to give precedence to Vote for £17,000 to be spent in preparing Westminster Abbey for Jubilee Service. That stern economist, GRANDOLPH, from his watch-tower behind the Treasury Bench, moved to indignation. What! Give up precious time to debate for Abbey services when Motion for referring Army and Navy Estimates to Parliamentary Committee stands aside? SMITH, nervously holding Twenty minutes to five. Dayon to the table, meekly explains that he was fully aware of imlight streaming in over Chamber still filled with jaded men, many portance of matter referred to by in dinner dress. Almost time to go home. But there was BRADnoble friend. But he also attached LAUGH and his Oaths Bill to settle. Another wrangle; a couple of diviimportance to the principle of not sions; the debate adjourned, and so home to bed at a Quarter to Six. spending money before it was sanctioned by House. Conserva- Thursday.-Bill authorising Duke of CONNAUGHT to return for tives cheered these moral senti- Jubilee business, came on early. DILLWYN moved rejection. WILments; soothing influence of moral FRID LAWSON for once appeared on side of Royalty. Couldn't quite rectitude spread itself over Trea- understand how anyone providentially abroad could want to come sury Bench. Then came Sage of home for Jubilee. But if Duke felt that desire, let him come. India Queen Anne's Gate, with horribly could get on without him, and he'd be another Duke for the people inconvenient question. Nothing at home to stare at. GEORGE CAMPBELL made speech of considerable to say against principle enunciated length, protesting against waste of time. W. H. SMITH plaintively by Leader of House, but who was urged House to consent unanimously. Fixing his eye on Sage of paying the cost of work already Queen Anne's Gate, appealed to feelings of a parent for sympathy going forward at Westminster with desire of QUEEN to have children around her on interesting Abbey? Awkward question this, occasion. "That's all very well," said Sage, not entirely unmoved. which "Old Morality," 66 as MAT What we object to is, not leave to Duke to come home, but the HARRIS calls the respected Leader prospect that, after enjoying of House, answered only by gazing his holiday, he will be going reflectively at the ceiling. After back again.' Second Readthrough which TIM HEALY rampaged ing of Bill carried by 318 votes against 45. M-t H-rr-s. this, Coercion Bill in Committee, like a tameless buffalo. Waiting for a Hearing. CONYBEARE proposed to POSTMASTER-GENERAL. Business done.-Very little. Tuesday, 6 A. M.-Home with the morning milk. Spent rather lively night. Began shortly after midnight with Motion to Report Progress. BRADLAUGH in his place. Waiting to move the Second Reading of Oaths Bill, which DE LISLE in moment of absence of mind omitted to block. House singularly full. Even HARTINGTON yawning on Front Bench. At Two o'Clock fresh Motion to Report Progress. Army and Navy Estimates SMITH, waking himself up, resisted. Sage of Queen Anne's Gate, to Select Committee. Motion proposing to offer few observations, yelled at for space of two minutes. unexpectedly agreed to This nothing to what followed. Our Chief who, in spite of all that without debate. CONYBEARE has gone before, had come down determined to stand by SMITH, now called up; presented pitiable rose slowly, deliberately, and with evident intention of settling whole spectacle. Usual fluency matter. Hardly had he drawn himself to full height, and fixed eye- quite deserted him. House glass, than there went up to high heaven a yell that woke sleepers looked on in marvel as he in distant ante-room, and brought them in, pale and anxious. stumbled along. At last A grand sight to see Our Chief stand, with folded arms, looking made clean breast of it. down on tumultuous throng. "Like Beachy Head, when south-Would the House kindly west gale is tumbling up the Channel," said ARTHUR BALFOUR, allow him to go to his locker looking sideways with admiration at the massive figure. and get papers? The House, on the whole, thought not. Idea of conniving at CONYBut Committee would not have CHAPLIN. For fully five minutes BEARE'S making another tumult raged. COURTNEY began to look dangerous. Somebody speech too much for its grawould be suspended. Besides, five minutes' bellowing at Three vity. Roared with laughter, o'Clock in the morning a little exhausting. Storm fell. Turbulent and, after wriggling round tide raced past, with sullen undertone of anger, and there stood for a few minutes, CONYBeachy Head, with eyeglass and folded arms, master of the BEARE sat down. Business "Mr. CHAPLIN! Mr. CHAPLIN!" COURTNEY cried, through the uproar. situation. done.-Miscellaneous. "I'll call again!" Successive divisions on Motion to Report Progress. Quarter to House of Lords, Friday Night.-Too much disposition here to snub DENMAN. Don't howl at him when he rises to speak, as Commons might. But when he offers to impart counsel, warning, or reproof, there is general uplifting of eyebrows, a curling of lips, a concatenation of deprecatory, but well-bred coughs, and other unmistakable indications of pained surprise at his interposition. KIMBERLEY, himself brilliant and acceptable speaker, been known to leave the House when DENMAN has risen. "I'll call again," he says, seizing his umbrella, cocking his hat on one side, and striding forth. DENMAN, however, not such a Peer as he looks. To-night brought in most useful Bill. Proposes to limit length of speeches in debate. Hopes, if measure is carried, monopoly of speech-making among Ministerial and ex-Ministerial Peers will be broken up, and chance given for young, earnest, and ambitious fellows like himself, to get an occasional turn. Business done.-DENMAN'S Bill read First Time. In Commons, Coercion Bill. WISE MEN IN THE EAST. 66 although built, has not been erected "whilst the dust created by the 66 We learn, too, with much satisfaction, that "the statues of twentytwo Queens, supported on carved pedestals," are "placed in standing posture," as we feel that it would have been a decided mistake (although the effect would have had the charm of novelty) to have erected these Royal effigies balancing themselves on their heads. It is added, that "the Queens have been selected from those who have been useful to their country, or in sympathy with their people," the alternative proving that some of these chosen Dames, although "not useful," have echoed the prevailing fashion of the period, and thus merited the distinction bestowed upon them. It is interesting to learn that "the whole of the Statues are worthy of attention as works of Art." From a "short history of the twenty-two Queens," we gather, amongst other facts of great value, that "OSBURGA of England (about A.D. 860)," gave her son ALFRED "a book at a time when printing had not yet been introduced, and books were therefore scarce;" that MARGARET of Scotland" purified the rough nobles among whom she lived;" that MARGARET of Denmark" tempered her ambition with the tact that made her beloved;" that ANNE of Brittany, by "prudence and judgment, saved her country from disastrous wars;" and lastly, that ANNE of England "was almost the first Sovereign of England who had no desire for despotic power, being more remarkable for her domestic virtues than for her skill in governing." It is interesting to know that "the space underneath the floor is utilised for the storage of the chairs, and other purposes incident to the daily use of the hall," as the last half of the sentence satisfactorily accounts for the night receptacle of the charwoman's broom and the washing-tub of the sleeping housemaid. ONDON Managers of Exhibitions and Directors of "Shows" in general are so anxious nowadays to save the Press unnecessary trouble, that they take the greatest pains to give the fullest information about the Institutions in which they are interested. This has evidently been the case with the Powers that Be (represented apparently by Mr. E. R. ROBSON) of the People's Palace for East London, who have obligingly placed at our disposal a lithographed description of the Institution, and a pamphlet on the same subject, profusely illustrated, and appropriately bound in paper of a verdant tint. These documents have been sent without an invitation to visit the Palace itself, so we cannot But perhaps the greatest puzzle of the whole description is the condo better than quote from cluding paragraph, which, narrating how the "glazing to roof" is on them, although secondary an improved system, abruptly finishes as follows:-"No putty being evidence, as a rule, is inad-required Clerk of Works Mr. SOFTLY". Stay! we are going too missible when anything better far; apparently this last item of information was not intended for can be got. Perhaps the publication, as it seems to have been addressed exclusively to a Powers that Be consider that nothing better can be got-and they solitary individual! may be right. Wealth and Poverty; or, Two points of the the Compass-West by East. It appears that the Queen's Hall, opened on Saturday last by HER MAJESTY, is" merely a fragment;" but in revenge, "is the central feature, and the only one likely to be ornate or interesting to architects." From this we take it, that on the face of it, the Queen's Hall must as "the central feature," be the nose, and are consequently glad to learn that it is likely to be ornate and interesting to architects. We further learn that this nose is "eventually to be approached through a Social Room on the South End.' What a Social Room on its South End" may be, we cannot conjecture, but it is evidently something decidedly useful if not ornamental, as it is eventually to introduce the Nose of the Palace to the Eyes of the Public. The Nose is to have on its other sides (so we learn) many other buildings, so that when the whole is completed, "the outside will be entirely concealed." "Hence," say the Powers that Be, in the accents of conviction, "the plain exterior." 66 "Three entrances," we further learn from the documents to which Iwe have referred, are enclosed by a temporary porch." This arrangement, one would have fancied, would have prevented the People (either with or without cards of invitation) from obtaining admission. But that everything may be 'quite safe, we understand that "there are other doors for egress provided at the East and West sides and North end of the Hall, so that it could be emptied in a very short time." A suggestion that would have greater value were it not highly probable that, owing to the enclosed entrances, as we have pointed out, the Hall is seldom likely to have anyone in it. We are further told that "the orchestra recess is elliptical in form and half domed, so as to throw out the sound." What this sound threatened with ejection is, we can only guess, and therefore may conjecture it to be the street noises that have found, or may find, an entrance through the open windows. We hazard this suggestion with some confidence, as we learn that "the magnificent organ,' It is also as pleasant to find that "the whole effect is that of a bright sunny light diffused over the interior, which is maintained throughout by the artistic decorations, gilding, and colour," as it is comforting to read that "the Hall is heated by means of hot water, the pipes passing in panels underneath the floor, the warmth being admitted through iron gratings." It is, however, extremely difficult to understand how the Powers that Be could ever have thought of such clever things! Eva. "I SUPPOSE THOSE EXTREMELY NICE-LOOKING YOUNG MEN ARE THE STUDENTS, OR HOUSE-SURGEONS, OR SOMETHING?" MAC-SMITH IN THE WITCHES' CAVE. (Shakspeare Adapted to Circumstances.) SCENE-A Dark Cave. In the middle a Cauldron boiling. First Witch. By the pricking of my thumbs Something Tory this way comes; Enter MAC-SMITH. Mac-Smith. Here now, you secret Separatist hags, What is 't you do? All. A deed we will not name. To shake that State's foundations; though the measures To what I ask you. First Witch. Second Witch. Third Witch. Speak! Demand! We'll answer! All. Show his eyes and grieve his heart; Come like shadows, so depart. [Hundreds of Amendments appear, and pass in disorder: Mac-Smith. Great Heavens! The second is so like the first, Why do you show me this? A fourth? Start, eyes!- And yet another comes, and bears a glass For the League-bolstering Babbler smiles upon me, SOMETHING LIKE A CELL.-The reported alterations at Millbank. |