ESQUIRE BICKERSTAFF,

FINDING your advice and cenfure

to have a good effect, I defire your admonition to our vicar and schoolmaiter, who, in his preaching to his auditors, ftretches his jaws fo wide, that inttead of instructing youth, it rather frightens them: likewife in reading prayers, he has fuch a careless loll, that people are juftly offended at his irreverent pofture; befides the extraordinary charge they are put to in fending their children to dance, to bring them off of thofe ill geftures. Another evil faculty he has, in making the bowling-green his daily refidence, instead of his church, where his curate reads prayers every day. If the weather is fair, his time is ipent in vifiting; if cold or wet, in bed, or at least at home, though within a hundred yards of the church. Thefe, out of many fuch irregular practices, I write for his reclamation: but, two or three things more before I conclude; to wit, that generally when his curate preaches in the afternoon, he fleeps fitting in the defk on a haflock. With all this he is fo extremely proud, that he will go but once to the fick, except they return his vifit.

I was going on in reading my letter, when I was interrupted by Mr. Greenhat, who has been this evening at the play of Hamlet. Mr. Bickerftaff,' faid he, had you been to-night at the playhoufe, you had feen the force of act on in perfection: your admired Mr. Betterton behaved himself fo well, that, though now about feventy, he acted youth; and by the prevalent power of proper manner, gefture, and voice, appeared through the whole drama a young man of great expectation, vivacity, and enterprize. The foliloquy, where he began the celebrat⚫ed fentence of" To be, or not to "be!" the expoftulation where he explains with his mother in her clofet; the noble ardour, after feeing his father's ghoft; and his generous diftrefs for the death of Ophel a; are each of them circumftances which dwell itrongly upon the minds of the audience, and would certainly affect their behaviour on any parallel occafions in their · own lives. Pray, Mr. Bickeritaff, let us have virtue thus reprefented on the itage with it's proper ornaments, ⚫ or let thefe ornaments be added to her

I Am forry, though not furprized, to

find that you have raillied the men of drefs in vain; that the amber-headed cane ftill maintains it's unftable poft; that pockets are but few inches fhortened; and a beau is ftill a beau, from the crown of his night-cap to the heels of his fhoes. For your comfort, I can affure you, that your endeavours fucceed better in this famous feat of learning. By them, the manners of our young gentlemen are in a fair way of amendment, and their very language is mightily refined. To them it is owing, that not a fervitor will fing a catch, nor a fenior fellow make a pun, nor a determining batchelor drink a bumper; and I believe a gentleman commoner would as foon have the heels of his fhoes red as his ftockings. When a witling stands at a coffee-house door, and fneers at thofe who pafs by, to the great improvement of his hopeful audience, he is no longer furnamed a Slicer, but a Man of Fire is the word. A beauty, whose health is drank from Heddington to Hinkley; who has been the theme of the Mufes, her cheeks painted with rofes, and her bofom planted with orangeboughs; has no more the title of Lady, but reigns an undisputed toalt. When to the plain garb of gown and band a fpark adds an inconfiftent long wig, we do not fay, 'Now he Bothes,' but There goes

a Smart Fellow. If a virgin blushes, we no longer cry, She Blues. He that drinks until he stares is no more Towrow, but Honeft. A Youngster in a Scrape is a word out of date; and what bright man fays, I was Joabed by the

• Dean?'

• Dean? Bambouzling is exploded; a Shat is a Tatler; and if the mufcular motion of a man's face be violent, no mortal fays, he raifes a Horfe, but he is a Merry Fellow.

I congratulate you, my dear kinfman, upon these conquefts; fuch as Roman emperors lamented they could not gain; and in which you rival your corfpondent Louis le Grand, and his dictating academy.

Be yours the glory to perform, mine to record, as M. Dryden has faid before me to his kinfman; and while you

enter triumphant into the temple of the Mufes, I, as my office requires, will, with my ftaff on my fhoulder, attend and conduct you. I am, dear coufin, your most affectionate kinfman,

BENJAMIN BEADLESTAFF.

Upon the humble application of certain perfons who have made heroic figures in Mr. Bickerttaff's narrations, notice is hereby given, that no fuch fhall ever be mentioned for the future, except those who have fent menaces, and not submitted to admonition.

WHITE'S CHOCOLATE-HOUSE, SEPT.23.

I

Have taken upon me no very easy task in turning all my thoughts on panegyric, when moft of the advices I receive tend to the quite contrary purpofe; and I have few notices but fuch as regard follies and vices. But the propereft way for me to treat is, to keep in general upon the paffions and affections of men, with as little regard to particulars as the nature of the thing will admit. However, I think there is fomething fo paffionate in the circumftances of the lovers mentioned in the following letter, that I am willing to go out of my way to obey what is commanded in it.

YOUR defign of entertaining the town

with the characters of the ancient heroes, as perfons fhall fend an account to Mr. Morphew's, encourages me and others to beg of you, that in the mean time, if it is not contrary to the method you have propofed, you would give us one paper upon the fubject of the death of Pætus and his wife, when Nero fent him an order to kill himfelf: his wife, fetting him the example, died with these words- Pætus, it is not painful.' You must know the story, and your obfervations upon it will oblige, Sir,

Your most humble fervant.

When the worst man that ever lived in the world had the highest station in it, human life was the object of his diverfion; and he fent orders frequently, out of mere wantonnefs, to take

off fuch and fuch, without fo much as being angry with them. Nay, frequently his tyranny was fo humorous, that he put men to death because he could not but approve of them. It came one day to his ear, that a certain, married couple, Pætus and Arria, lived in a more happy tranquillity and mutual love than any other perfons who were then in being. He liftened with great attention to the account of their manner of spending their time together, of the constant pleafure they were to each other in all their words and actions; and found by exact information, that they were fo treafonable, as to be much more happy than his Imperial Majefty himself. Upon which he writ Pætus the following billet:

PATUS, you are hereby defired to

difpatch yourfelf. I have heard a very good character of you; and therefore leave it to yourself, whether you will die by dagger, fword, or poifon. If you outlive this order above an hour, I have given directions to put you to death by torture. 'NERO."

flowing upon him, which the tongue was not formed to exprefs; but the charming ftatue is now before my eyes, and Arria, in her unutterable forrow, has more beauty than ever appeared in youth, in mirth, or in triumph. Thefe are the great and noble incidents which speak the dignity of our nature, in our sufferings and diftreffes. Behold her tender affection for her husband finks her features into a countenance, which appears more helpless than that of an infant: but again, her indignation fhews in her vifage and her bofom a refentment, as ftrong as that of the bravest man. Long the ftood in this agony of alternate rage and love; but at last compofed herself for her diffolution, rather than furvive her beloved Pætus. When he came into her prefence, he found her with the tyrant's letter in one hand, and a dagger in the other. Upon his approach to her, The gave him the order; and at the fame time ftabbing herself Pætus, faid fhe, it is not painful,' and expired. Pætus immediately followed her example. The paflion of thefe memorable Jovers was fuch, that it illuded the rigour of their fortune, and baffled the force of a blow, which neither felt, because each received it for the fake of the other. The woman's part in this story is by much the more heroic, and has occafioned one of the beft epigrams tranfmitted to us from antiquity.

When Arria pull'd the dagger from her fide,
Thus to her confort fp ke th'illuftrious bride:
The wound gave myfelf I do not grieve,
I die by that which Pætus must receive.

FROM MY OWN APARTMENT, SEPT. 13. THE boy fays, one in a black hat left the following letter:

19TH OF THE SEVENTH MONTH. FRIEND,

BEING of that part of Chriftians whom men call Quakers, and being a feeker of the right way, I was perfuaded yesterday to hear one of your moft noted teachers; the matter he treated was the neceffity of well living, grounded upon a future itate. I was attentive; but the man did not appear in earnest. He read his difcourfe, notwithstanding thy rebukes, fo heavily, and with fo litthe air of being convinced himself, that I thought he would have flept, as I ob

ferved many of his hearers did. I came home unedified, and troubled in mind. I dipt into the Lamentations, and from thence turning to the 34th chapter of Ezekiel, I found thefe words: Wo be to the fhepherds of Ifrael that do feed themselves! Should not the fhepherds feed the flock? Ye eat the fat, and ye clothe you with the wool: ye kill them that are fed; but ye feed not the flock. The diseased have ye not strengthened; neither have ye healed that which was fick; neither have ye bound up that which was broken; neither have ye brought again that which was driven away; neither have ye fought that which was loft; but with force and with cruelty have ye ruled them,' &c. Now, I pray thee, friend, as thou art a man fkilled in many things, tell me who is meant by the Difeased, the Sick, the Broken, the Driven away, and the Loft; and whether the prophecy in this chapter be accomplished, or yet to come to pafs; and thou wilt oblige thy friend, though unknown.

This matter is too facred for this paper; but I cannot fee what injury it would do any clergyman to have it in his eye, and believe all that are taken from him by his want of induftry, are to be demanded of him. I dare fay, Favonius has very few of these loffes. Favonius, in the midst of a thoufand impertinent affailants of the divine truths, is an undisturbed defender of them. He protects all under his care, by the clearness of his understanding, and the example of his life: he visits dying men with the air of a man who hoped for his own diffolution, and enforces in others a contempt of this life by his own expectation of the next. His voice and behaviour are the lively images of a compofed and well-governed zeal. None can leave him for the frivolous jargon uttered by the ordinary teachers among the diffenters, but fuch who cannot diftinguish vociferation from eloquence, and argument from railing. He is fo great a judge of mankind, and touches our paffions with fo fuperiora command, that he who deferts his congregation must be a ftranger to the dictates of Nature, as well as thofe of Grace.

But I muft proceed to other matters, and refolve the queftions of other enquirers; as in the following: