an Englishman's judgment, can be traced back to some book or song written during the eighteenth century. Pilfering is almost unknown in Wales, still there is a vague belief among Englishmen that Taffy is a thief. Truth is undoubtedly as highly honoured in Wales as in any country, still I have met Englishmen who insist on believing a statement made by some heated politician that all Welshmen are liars. A "Welsh jury," to the minds of some, means a body of men bent upon defeating the ends of justice; and it is readily taken for granted, in ignorance of all English history, that an English juryman has always been the incarnation of immaculate impartiality.

These misconceptions are all due to eighteenth century writers, and I have gone to the trouble of finding the origin of all the stock libels about Wales. I shall publish them, month after month, in order that it may be seen from what hole of a pit they are dug.

At the beginning of the eighteenth century the scenery and the people of Wales were barbarous to English eyes. I need not say that, at that time, the delight in wild scenery was no part of English thought. The beauty of mountain and moor and sea had not been discovered, though we find the germs of it in Addison when he says that the scenery of Lausanne filled him with "an agreeable kind of horror." At the beginning of the eighteenth century the English traveller found delight in "the trim and neat" fields of England, and thought that the Welsh mountains were unsightly masses of rock which could not be turned to any account.

The people were no less strange than the country to English eyes. It has been the misfortune of Wales that Englishmen began to travel in it at a time when English and Welsh were most unlike each other. During the eighteenth century the Englishman disliked and despised sentiment, and believed in the fashionable theory of the equality of men; the Welshman was full of sentimental conceits, and talked by the hour about his pedigree. During the same century the Welsh peasants were not so far advanced in matters of sanitation as the English middle class travellers.

A sparing use of water and ignorance of the functions of soap are unpardonable to an Englishman. I know a lady who found that a maid in a continental hotel was ignorant enough about soap to take a bite out of her unscented Pears, thinking it was

toffee. It is in vain that I have tried to persuade that lady to believe there ever was civilization in Italy or thought in Germany.

In reading the English descriptions of Wales I am giving, let not the Welshman suppose that he has been more tolerant than the Englishman. In order to illustrate this warning I translate, at the outset, a few Welsh triads,

Three things there are that can never be found out,—God's counsels, the first drop of the sea, and an Englishman's wiles.

Three things will penetrate to the ends of the world, sunlight, the praise of a fine fellow, and an Englishman's boasting.

Three things the further they are the better,mad dogs, God's curse, and an Englishman.

Three things are easy to see,-the mid-day sun, water in the Severn, and an Englishman's brutality.

Three things are difficult to get,-gold from a miser, love from the devil, and courtesy from an Englishman.

Three fickle things, the new moon, a weathercock, and English fidelity.

The three hardest things,-a granite block, a miser's barley loaf, and an Englishman's heart.

The three chief enemies of a Welshman,-his own credulous heart, a winged devil from the nether regions, and an Englishman.

Three things necessary in a song for the devil,the dying squeal of a sow, a cursing priest, and English.

Three things are best when hung,-salt fish, a wet hat, and an Englishman.

Three things will take a long time to do,— drying the Atlantic, climbing to the sun, and unvillaining an Englishman.

Three things will not soon be seen,-the seacrow covering Snowdon, reaping wheat on the Atlantic, and truth in an Englishman.

Three things attack the weak, the cat, the sea-crow, and the Englishman.

Three things difficult to find,-a salmon in an

oak, a miser's chest unlocked, and impartiality in

an Englishman.

Three things my heart loves to see,-honey on my bread, the face of the girl I love, and a halter round an Englishman's neck.

I

KNOW not by what fatality it came to pass that I was bred up to the study of the law, but surely the importunity of others had a greater hand in it than any inclination of my own; for I was ever of opinion a young barrister without an estate, my case,-made as awkward a figure as a dancing-master in the habit of a non-con parson, in regard such rarely get their bread till they have lost their teeth to eat it. However, being called to the Bar, I began to consider what way I might best settle myself into business with the least certainty of expense and the greatest probability of advantage. Amongst all the numerous projects that filled my head I could think of none like going a Welsh circuit. For happening one day,-in Trinity term,-to dine at a Welsh judge's house, with whom I was acquainted, I met there some attornies of that country, who, in less time than a man might say over a Paternoster, made all that was set upon the table invisible, and then, to make us amends, entertained us with a romantic harangue of the felicities of North Wales, which they talked of as if they had been describing the land of promise that flowed with milk and honey; nay, they wanted little of persuading me that broad cloth of twelve shillings a yard grew upon the hedges; and every now and then a request was wedged in that I would come and practise amongst them. There needed not half so many arguments to put me upon a thing I was naturally forward enough to undertake. So the bargain was quickly struck up, and I fully determined to visit Wales the very next circuit.

But, before I proceed any further, I will first premise some account of the place and inhabitants, and then speak of my own treatment there.

Wales then, anciently called Cimbria, -is divided into North and South Wales. "Tis the former of these I propose to say

somewhat of. This consists of six entire, though small, counties, viz. Montgomery, Flint, Denbigh, Merioneth, Carnarvon, and the Isle of Anglesea, and is separated from England by the rivers Dee and Severn.

The

The air is the best thing it has to boast of, and will sooner procure you an appetite than furnish you with means to supply it. The country looks like the fag end of the creation, the very rubbish of Noah's flood, and will,-if any thing,-serve to confirm an Epicurean in his creed that the world was made by chance. highest hills that ever I saw in England, such as Penygant, Ingleborough, and the like, are mere cherry-stones to the British Alps; and no more to be compared with them, for stature, than a grasshopper with Goliath of Gath. So that there is not, in the whole world, a people that live so near to, and yet so far from heaven, as the Welsh do. the Welsh do. You cannot travel from town to town but you must needs take the clouds in your way, who so gratefully resent your civility in calling upon them, that you will have no occasion to complain they send you away dry; for you may, at your journey's end, beshake your clothes with as good a grace as any water-dog does his shaggy pantaloons.

A tree challenges as many lookers on here, as a blazing star or an African monster does elsewhere. And for green things, -leeks only excepted,-you might have seen as many in Egypt when the locusts had been rapareeing the country.

Coaches in many parts were never so much as heard of, nor can the natives form any ideas of them that are not as disproportioned to the truth as Montezuma's conception of the sea, who had never seen anything longer than a horse-pond. Carts are about the size, and somewhat of the shape, of brewers' drays. Horses are no rarities, but very easily mistaken for mastiff dogs, unless viewed attentively; they will live half a week upon the juice

of a flint-stone, for grass and hay they know as little as oats; and they will run upon the ridge of a mountain as thin as the back of a knife, with as much security and speed as an accomplished race-horse will exert upon Newmarket Heath or Salisbury Plain. They want not store of mutton that is tolerably sweet, for meat so lean; but goat's flesh,-as more suitable to their own rank constitution, has the preference; this, forsooth, they call rockvenison. These goats are such excellent climbers that the only way to be familiarly acquainted with them is to render your respects by a musket-ball. Little want is there of fish, such as trout, gwyniad, salmon, lobsters, and the like. Their beef is as tough as an artillery man's coat upon a training day, and requires a very ostrich's stomach to digest it. You cannot suppose they want pork in a country so very swinish. Their dressing victuals serves to verify an old proverb, that "where God sends meat, somebody else will furnish them with cooks."

Their houses generally consist but of one room, but that plentifully stocked with inhabitants; for besides the proprietors, their children, and servants, you shall have two or three swine, and hard to say which are the greater brutes. These houses have holes dug in their sides that serve them for a double purpose, both to let in light and to let out smoke. They represent both windows and chimneys; for, should a man have a chimney perching on the top of his thatched mansion there, he would stand in great danger of being pricked down for high sheriff. Cow-dung is their principal firing, and the neater sort use swine's dung instead of soap.

Thus much for their habitations; now for those that dwell in them.

Some suppose them to be descended from the same common parents with us; but to hear one of them talk you would take them for a sort of Præ-Adamites, nor can there be anything imagined so troublesome as a Welshman when possessed with the spirit of genealogy. They are, doubtless, the true offspring of the ancient Britons, and have crept into this obscure corner of the

world, no ways able to recompense the toil of conquest. They lived many ages undisturbed, and as safe as a thief in a mill, till our Edward, with much ado, cudgelled them into humanity, and persuaded them, -sore against their will, to live a little like the rest of their neighbours.

Wolves were formerly as plentiful among them as pick-pockets at a conventicle, till their princes, being obliged to pay a yearly tribute of three hundred, in process of time no noxious vermin, but the inhabitants, were left in the land. They have this in common with the Jews, that they ever marry in their own tribe, which, as it is detrimental to them, so it is highly advantageous to all others.

Their language is inarticulate and guttural, and sounds more like the gobbling of geese or turkeys than the speech of rational creatures. It is stuffed as full with aps as ever you saw a leg of veal with parsley.

They are so well versed in the history of their descents that you shall hear a poor beggar-woman derive her extraction from the first maid of honour to Nimrod's wife, or else she thinks she is nobody.

If they want a pewter spoon or porringer in their house, yet will they by no means be without a pedigree.

They are such great lovers of cleanliness, that they never shift above four times a year, and that exactly upon quarter-day, except it happen to be leap year. Most of the middle, and all the meaner-sort, are as absolute strangers to shoes and stockings, as to mortal honesty, whereby their legs and feet become in time so callous that hardly anything will hurt them.

For their Christianity,-if you'll believe Tertullian, they came by it very easily; but, like an old coat, it is now grown so thread-bare that you can hardly make it out that there ever was such a thing as Christianity among them. They preface everything, with "Got" and "St. Taphy knows;" which saint was a very worthy gentleman, that could play at back-sword well. You may read of him plentifully in that excellent book called The History of the Seven Champions; to which I refer you for further information. Their most usual im

precations are these, May her never wear leak more;" "May her be choked

with toasted cheese;" and "The tiphill bite her head off." Their churches somewhat resemble the Jewish Tabernacle converted into a pigeon-house. Their pews look exactly like the pens for geese, calves, and hogs in Rumford market or West Smithfield. And there it is, that, by way of ornament, not use, they deposit those few Bibles they have. Their pulpits, generally the trunk of some hollow tree,-are badly covered, and worse lined. Their priests,which are made of the vilest of the people, -have just Latin enough to entitle them to the benefit of clergy, and no more. For Greek, it suffices them to have heard there is such a thing in the world; they never trouble themselves about it. Hebrew, they are the best qualified for that as can be, partly in regard of their own guttural pronunciation, and partly because its roots flourish best in barren ground; but they are as absolute strangers to it as the rest of the uncircumcised world. Yet it is rare to see any of them without the rubric, and Cambridge arms, Lucem and Pocula, fire and cups in their faces; so very comformable are they. The surplices are full as coarse, and almost as white,-as carmen's frocks; they are perpetually wiping their noses on them. Five marks a year creditably and comfortably maintain one of those illiterate Sir Johns, his wife, and six children; nor do they deserve one penny more than they have. They are universally the sow-gelders and alehouse-keepers of their respective parishes.

At Penmorthey, some of our younger sort sent one evening for a fiddler; and who do you think should come but the reverend doctor of the parish, who pulled a small squeaking instrument, miscalled a violin, out of a slit in his cassock, and began to make as good melody as three or four cats in a garret at midnight. A person present threw a cake of butter at him, which so obnubilated one side of his ecclesiastic chaps, he threatened to complain to his diocesan, who was a justice of the peace, but was soon stopped, by a present of sixpence, a sight, I suppose, he had not been blessed with since last Easter offerings. After which he was so very pliant to the humours of the company that you might, without offence, have kicked him like a

football. You may expect, but will not find, any rings of bells here; yet most of their churches have one, about the bigness of a large candlestick, hung upon,-not in, -a thing like a steeple, as a mushroom is a millpost. This is generally rung out upon any joyful news. I remember once we had a churchwarden's accounts canvassed in court, and among other things, there are these that follow,

ITEM: Threepence for a twisted hay-rope to the bell at St. Mary's Church.

ITEM: Sevenpence for a gate, to keep off Thomas ap Richard's cow from devouring the aforesaid rope.

The churchyards serve the dead for a burying and the living for a dancing place, and that every Sunday; for there you shall see a blind harper mounted upon a gravestone, making admirable harmony, surrounded by the long eared tribe, like another Orpheus amongst the beasts.

For their civil government, it is after the model of England; but, in many things, as much varies from it as the Turkish Alcoran does from the Scotch Directory. They have judges of their own, that carry with them in their circuits an itinerant chancery, king's bench, common pleas, and exchequer; so that the same hand that inflicts the wound at common law, applies the equity plaister also. In three weeks' time they will sue a man to an outlawry. It is the form of one of their proclamations,

Morgan Cadwaladar, gent., come forth and answer to Jane ap Rice Williams, in a plea of dower, or else you lose three kine, price fifteen shillings.

They are very favourable to their own countrymen, and will by no means subject them to any capital punishment; an instance of which we had in our circuit, where we could not hang one man. There was a fellow indicted for sheep stealing, and a very pregnant evidence of his guilt produced, yet the thick-skulled jury brought him in guilty of manslaughter. But strangers are not to expect such fair quarter.

Their civil actions are brought upon very frivolous accounts, as for your hens scraping up a daisy in your neighbour's garden; for a fillip on the nose; for saying you are

No man

no true Welshman, and the like. will appear there, either upon a jury or a witness, unless he be called by his addition of quality, as well as name; name; as Hugh Owen, Esq., Evan Roberts, gent. Nay, it has been known, that when my lords the judges have, in their circuits, been so crowded as to be well nigh stifled upon the bench, and the sheriff has found all his mandates to keep the king's peace upon pain of rebellion invalid, he has at last been forced to cry,-"All you that are gentle men of Wales, and ancient Britons, stand off, and keep your distance;" which has effectually done the business.

They are of a hot, choleric temper, and will, upon a word's speaking, run at you with their knives full drive. But as their valour is soon kindled, so it as quickly evaporates.

For their women, they are happy that know them only by report.

Reading is a valuable accomplishment among both sexes; but, to be able to write too, makes them presently commence rabbis: for many, even of the better sort, think themselves no mean scholar, if they have once attained to be able to set their marks to a deed.

Their wenches unspit meat with their naked teeth, which are full as sweet as clean; so that had Cornelius Agrippa seen Wales, 'tis more than probable he had ranked their cookery amongst his vanities of science. Butter is there of a dark

yellowish complexion, mixed with green; and you must hold your nose in your own defence, before you can put it into your mouth. However, 'tis very good to grease cart wheels. Eggs bear no price unless they have chickens in them, and then they are as much coveted as toasted cheese. This epitomizes all dainties with them; and they eat it with as much luxury as the Scotch do steenbarnack, or the Irish bonniclabber. It is made of cows' milk, mixed with that of goats, bitches, and mares; so that an Englishman would as soon choose to dine with a hungry Tartar, upon sun-burnt horse-flesh, as put a bit of it into his mouth.

Forks they never use, looking upon fingers as the more primitive institution. Their liquor is of a pale deceitful complexion, but as treacherous in its effects as the worst of those that either brew or use it.

To sum up their character in one word,they live lazily and heathenishly, they eat and drink nastily, lodge hardily, snore profoundly, and smoke tobacco lastingly.

ever

An account of my entertainment amongst them must now ensue.

The account of E. B.'s entertainment in North Wales will be given in the next number. In the following number will come an answer, by a very fiery Welshman, an answer printed in 1701. The fiery Welshman says that E. B. stand for Eternal Booby, and calls his own book,-" NORTH WALES DEFENDED, or an answer to an immodest and scurrilous libel lately published and entitled A Trip to North Wales, being, as the author pretended, a description of that country and people."