spent about one-fifth; then he thought it time to consult his father-in-law, whose knowledge of the world, he put it to him, might be most valuable.

"You see," he said "that I am a mere child; I really am. Such small intellectual vigour as I possess" (he used this style of talk to Betts: he would have spoken very differently to a university man) "is used up by my sermons. I ask you you will smile at my simplicity-what does a man in my position do to increase his income?"

"Are you quite sure," said Mr. Betts, somewhat huskily, "that you would do better by increasing your income?"

"It is absolutely necessary, I fear, my dear sir,” said Algernon. "I must have a good governess for Dora. Our confidence is mutual, I believe, and I cannot conceal from you the fact that, unless Dora has some lady to superintend her education-well, I will cut it short-in fact she will not grow up a lady herself."

"Who the deuce wants her to be a lady? She won't have any money."

"My dear sir-—”

"I brought up my girl for a lady, and she was no good, at least to you. I don't believe in girls, without one tithe of the prospects she had when you married her, being brought up as ladies. Governessing ain't any good, I tell you—they never make one and a half per cent. on the money spent on their education; and the flower-making ain't much good now. They say the women are going to take to the law writing, but a friend of mine in the business says they'll never come to it. Try that. But, Lord! see the various games I have tried to make a little money,

2

and ease you. And see my success. I am a burden

on you still."

"You are no burden, my dear friend. Even if you ever had been, you could repay the whole of your obligation by pointing out to me the way to increase my income. I must have my children educated as gentlemen and ladies, and Reggy must go to school." "Must he? I never went to school, but here I am, say you. Well, I won't dispute; but, knowing what I do know, I'd apprentice him to a smith. Look here: your education cost two thousand pounds, first and last, and I don't deny that the investment

was a good one.

Three hundred a year for two thousand is a good investment. But then your

friends had the money, and you turned out well, and you had luck in getting this church; whereas, in the case of Reggy, you ain't got the money, and he may turn out bad (which is deuced likely), and you nor no other man can be answerable for his luck. Therefore, I say, apprentice him to the smith's trade."

"I could not dream of such a thing."

"Of course you couldn't. You're a gentleman, and I'll speak up for gentlemen as long as I live. But gentlemen-I mean such as you-never do any good for themselves: you know swells, don't you?” "Do you mean noblemen?"

"Of course I do."

Yes, I know a few noblemen; I think I know

a good many noblemen.

At Paul's we were very intimate with Christchurch, and I was popular in both places; but what then?"

Why, this: why do you send these swells away when they seek you? Why, the day before yesterday, while I was at the parlour window, and you

And you

in your study, up comes the Marquis of Bangor, hunting you out as if you were a fox. gave him 'Not at home;' and I heard him say, 'Dash it all, I should like to find him again,' or something of that sort. And I went to the stationer's, and hunted him up in the Peerage. Patron of nine

livings. And I got the Clergy List, and I found two of the incumbents instituted before Waterloo; and then you come to ask me how to increase your income. Three words of common civility to Lord Bangor would make you a rich man.”

"Yes, but," said Algernon, "you see I couldn't say them—more particularly now you have told me that two of his livings are likely to drop in. Don't you see?"

Betts couldn't see that at all.

"I'll try to explain. I used to know Lord Bangor as an equal. It became my painful duty on one occasion to rebuke Lord Bangor, openly and publicly, for speaking in a way which I did not approve of. I never did so to any other man, for my custom was to leave the room when talk began to get fast and wild. That he has respected me ever since is

nothing. Is this the man to whom you would have me go and truckle for a living?"

"I can't understand this sort of thing," said Betts. "But you are familiar with other noblemen."

"I am not familiar with any. I cannot bring them here; I cannot."

"Well, you know best," said Betts.

"I thought

swells were swells, and were to be used accordingly. Otherwise, what is the good of them?

If you are going in this line, you must take pupils. There is the Rev. George Thirlwall takes three, at two hundred a year a piece. There's six hundred for you, barring their keep."

"Yes; but then Thirlwall was a Balliol scholar, and got a double first. He can command such a price. I doubt, as a mere pass man, whether I should get any pupils at all."

"But his education did not cost any more than yours."

"Rather less, I should think. He got his scholarship and his fellowship. I never got anything better than a good-conduct prize. I have not the brains." "That's a rum thing," pondered Betts aloud.

"He