Next night was the same, and the next and the next; He perspir'd like an ox ; he was nervous aud vex'd; Week past after week, till by weekly succession His weakly condition was past all expression,

In six months his acquaintance began much to doubt him,

For his skin like a lady's loose gown hung about

him
;

He sent for a doctor, and cried like a ninny,

"I have lost many pounds-make me well-there's a guinea.

The doctor look'd wise-" A slow fever," he said, Prescrib'd sudorifics-and going to bed. "Sudorifics in bed," exclaim'd Will, "are hum

bugs;

I've enough of them there without paying for drugs."

Will kick'd out the doctor-but when ill, indeed, E'en dismissing the doctor, does not always succeed; So calling his host, he said "Sir, do you know I'm the fat single gentlemen, six months ago ?"

"Look, landlord, I think," argued Will, with a grin,

"That with honest intentions you first took me in; But from the first night, and to say it I'm bold, 've been so over-heated, that I'm sure I've caught cold."

Quoth the landlord, "Till now, I ne'er had a dis

pute,

I've let lodgings ten years-I'm a baker to boot; In airing your sheets, sir, my wife is no slovenAnd your bed is immediately over my oven."

"Your oven!!!" says Will.-Says his host," Why this passion?

In that excellent bed died three people of fashionWhy so crusty, good sir ?". "La!" cries Will, in a taking,

"Who would not be crusty with half a year's baking?"

Will paid for his rooms.-Cry'd the host with a

sneer,

"Well I see you've been going away half a year." "Friend, we can't well agree-yet no quarrel," Will said,

"For one man may die where another makes bread."

Remember Jack.

WHEN scarce a handspike high,
Death with old Dad made free,

So what does I do, d'ye sce,

But I packs it off to sea;

Says I to sweetheart Poll,
If ever I come back,
We'll laugh and sing tol de rol lol,
If not, remember Jack,

I'd fortin smooth and rough,

The wind would chop and veer,
'Till hard knocks I'd knab'd enough
On board of a privateer!
Propt with a wooden peg,

Poll, I thought, would bid me pack,
So was forc'd, d'ye see, to beg,
And it was, pray remember Jack.

I ax't as folks hove by,

And shew'd my wooden pin; Young girls would sometimes sigh, And gaping lubbers grin.

In vain I'd often bawl,

My hopes were ta'en aback, And my share of coppers small, So pray remember Jack.

One day, my lockers bare,

And toggs all tatter'd grown, I twigg'd a pinnace fair, Well rigg'd, a bearing down. 'Twas Poll, she look'd so spruce, "What! thus," says she,

"C come back?"

My tongue forgot its use,
And pray remember Jack.

What matters much tó prate,
She'd shiners sav'd a few,
Soon I became her mate,

Warn't Poll a sweetheart true?
Then a friend I'd serv'd before,
From a long voyage trips back,
Shar'd with me his gold galore,
For he well remember'd Jack.

So that the'f I lost my leg,
It seem'd to fortin mend
And when for'd, d'ye see, to beg,
I gain'd a wife and friend.
Here's the King, Old England, Poll!
My ship-mate just come back,
Then laugh and sing tol de rol lol,
And pray remember Jack.

Life's like a Ship.

LIFE's like a ship in constant motion,
Sometimes high and sometimes low,
Where ev'ry one must brave the ocean,
Whatsoever winds may blow:
If unassail'd by squall or shower,
Wafted by the gentle galés,
Let's not lose the fav'ring hour,

While success attends our sails.

Or if the wayward wind should bluster,
Let us not give way to fear;

But let us all our patience muster,
And learn by reason how to steer ;

Let judgment keep you ever steady,
'Tis a ballast never fails;

Should dangers rise, be ever ready,
To manage well the swelling sails.

Trust not too much your own opinion,
While your vessel's under weigh;
Let good example bear dominion,
That's a compass will not stray :
When thund'ring tempests make you shudder,
Or Boreas on the surface rails,
Let good discretion guide the rudder,
And Providence attend the sails.

Then, when you 're safe from danger riding
In some welcome port or bay;
Hope be the anchor you confide in,
And care a while enslumber'd lay:
Or when each can with liquor flowing,
And good fellowship prevails;

Let each true heart, with rapture glowing,
Drink, 'Success unto our sails,'

The Noddy Driver.

I'M Larry O'Lashem, was born in Killarney, Myself drove a Noddy in Dublin sweet town, And I got fares enough, case I tip'd the folks blarney,

But myself was knock'd up, cause I knock'd a man down;