154. What relation is the door-mat to the scraper?

155. Why does a piebald pony never pay toll?

156. When does a steamboat captain say that he is what he is not?

157. When are you like a spider?

158. Which are the laziest shell-fish?

159. Why is the best baker most in want of bread?

160. Why is the letter S like a sewing machine?

161. Why do ducks go under water?

162. Why is France never afraid of inundations?

163. What is the difference between a cow and a broken chair? 164.. What three letters are of most use to a statesman?

165. When does a man look most like a cannon-ball?

166. Why is the letter A like a honeysuckle?

167. What flower most resembles a bull's mouth?

168. What does a stone become in the water?

169. Why is a spectator like a bee-hive?

170. What does every one thirst alter?

171. Which is the highest island?

172. Why is the letter N like a pig?

173. Why is a theatre the saddest of places?

174. Why is it wrong to call a bloater a soldier?

175. What lane do ladies most like walking in?

176. Why is a lean monarch a contemplative man?

177. Why is a spider's web like a lawsuit?

178. Why is a tournament like sleep?

179. Why is rheumatism like a glutton?

180. Why is the county of Buckingham like a drover's goad?

181. Why are sailors bad horsemen?

182. Why should a man never marry a woman named Ellen?

183. When is a soldier not half a soldier?

184. When was beef-tea first introduced into England?

185. Why is Cupid like poverty?

186. What people can never live long, nor wear greatcoats?

187. Why is a horse doctor like a water-rat?

188. Why should Japanese grandees never pay their debts?

189. When does a man eat his furniture?

190. What letter does a deaf woman like best?

191. Why is an old woman like a well-driven nail?

192. Why is a pig's tail like a carving-knife?

193. When does a man belong to the vegetable kingdom?

194. Why are ladies like churches?

195. Why ought the children of a thief to be burnt?

196. When is love a deformity?

197. Why is a mouse like hay?

198. Why is a madman equal to two men?

199. Why are good resolutions like fainting ladies?

200. Why is a short person like an entertaining book?

201. What wonderful metamorphosis is a laundress subject to?

202. If cheese comes after meat, what comes after cheese?

203. What island is most like snow?

204. When is a wave of the sea like a medical man?

205. Why must the inventor of beaver hats have been necessaiily a talented


206. When will the soup run out of the saucepan?

207. Why is a lifeboat at sea like a new-born baby?

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"To arms !" he cried, the Hermit of the Rock;

'' To arms !" the people answered in a breath:
Vainly might navies his bare isle enlock,

He 'scaped, exultant, to success—or death.
But ere he reached the city's strong redoubt

A deadlier engine was assigned his doom:
Science, not courage, put him to the rout,

And sent him, baffled, to a l1ving tomb.

1. Once eloquent on mountain heights,
Now dying out, like Jacobites.

2. Singly I'm a poor creature,
Collectively a great feature;
Scattered in volumes, fastened in frames,
Though I do little but iterate names.

3 Rose-maiden, hence! thou surely must be mad!
She knew his accents, and her heart was glad.

4. All too high he pitched his flight,
Soaring where the ether springs;
We, like nim, find stern daylight
Fata! to our waxen wings;

5. In England I'm a lump

Of wood, or brass, or clay j
In Yankeeland a man
With labourers in my pay.
6. Britain, envying Lisbon's vine,

Begged from Bacchus some such tree;
Growled the God, " There's barley-wine,
Drink it, and don't bother me!"

7. In the dusk like moth I show,

Down the streets in glittering row,
Cheerer of the wintry weather,
Feast and song about me gather.

8. We learn't was good for kitchen duty,

But all aver it was no beauty;
Like homely wife, the best of cooks,

Who shames us by her parlour looks;
But as 'tis vanished from the earth,

No matter what its looks were worth.

9. Whate'cr our century may miss,
None can accuse its sons as this;
They fuss and fume on daily toil,
Each foremost scrambling for the spoil,
Till, worn out by the tug and tussle.
We wish they were this in the bustle.


Men too oft confuse these twain,

And for the tirst the second sauander;
A fatal loss they find that g-iin,
A loss for sage profound to ponder.

1. I preside at Guildhall dinners,
Not a single word I say:
Oh, how many fools and sinners
l Ve seen in my day!

It flows and flows as it never would end,

With many a twisting and many a bend;

But the stream's longest course, and the life's longest sweep,

Must finish at last in the fathomless deep.

The buffalo in his prairie feeds on the herbage rank,
The mustang, sharply ridden, already nears his flank,
Out flies the curling leather, down falls the mighty brute,
The rider's knife is ready—one death-roar—all is mute!

4. In the workman's hand a tool,
On the lad) 's breast a flash,
In the pastime of the fool
Mad excitement, ruin's crash.


Brahmin of Brahmins, she her gods adored,

Then passed through me and joined her vanished lord.

Kock, rock the cradle, wash and sift the soil;

Let me be made, the digger leaves his toil.

Bearer of burdens, driven by human hand,

Harder you strike me, firmer do I stand.

The soldier, face still dark with battle's frown,

Waits fot my welcome sound, and lays him down.

I. All-gifted fair one, pause! Alas! it is too late.
Swift from their bondage fly the ills of fate.

2. Fierce through the driving snow,
Eager to meet the foe,

There rides Liitzow.
Cowards and traitors all,
Flee from that trumpet call,

Here comes Hodson.
A hero each, of equal fame;
Unequal numbers sing his name.

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