MADAM, I allow 'tis true :

All these praises are your due.
You, like fome acute philofopher,
Ev'ry fault have drawn a glofs over ;
Placing in the ftrongest light
All your virtues to my fight.

THO' you lead a blameless life,
Live an humble, prudent wife;
Anfwer all domestic ends,
What is this to us your friends?
Tho' your children by a nod
Stand in awe without the rod :
Tho' by your obliging sway
Servants love you, and obey ;
Tho' you treat us with a smile,

Clear your looks, and smooth your style;
Load our plates from ev'ry dish;

This is not the thing we wish.

Col'nel-may be your

debtor;

We expect employment better.

You must learn, if you would gain us,
With good fenfe to entertain us.

SCHOLARS, when good fenfe defcribing,
Call it tasting and imbibing ;
Metaphoric meat and drink
Is to understand and think :
We may carve for others thus,
And let others carve for us:
To difcourfe, and to attend,
Is, to help yourself and friend.
Conversation is but carving;
Carve for all, yourself is starving:
Give no more to ev'ry guest,
Than he's able to digeft:
Give him always of the prime,
And but little at a time.

1

95

100

105

110

115

128

1251

130

Teaching by what golden rules

Into knaves they turn their fools:

How the helm is rul'd by Walpole,

At whofe oars, like flaves, they all pull :
Let the veffel fplit on shelves;

165

With the freight enrich themselves:

Scourge the villains with a vengeance:
Let me, tho' the fmell be ncifom,

180

Strip their bums; let Caleb + horfe 'em,

+ Caleb D'Anvers, the famous writer of the paper called the Craftsman. Thefe papers are fuppofed to be written by the Lord Bolingbroke, and Mr Pulteney, created Earl of Bath.

Ridicule has greater pow'r

To reform the world, than four.
Horfes thus, let jokies judge else,
Switches better guide than cudgels.
Baftings heavy, dry, obtufe,
Only dulnefs can produce;
While a little gentle jerking

Sets the fpirits all a-working.

THUS, I find it by experiment,

Scolding moves you lefs than merriment.

I may ftorm and

rage in vain ;

It but ftupifies your brain.

But with raillery to nettle,

Sets your thoughts upon their mettle :

Gives imagination scope;

Never lets your mind elope:

Drives out brangling and contention,

195

200

205

210

215

220

That they might fome better way tread,
To avoid the public hatred ;

225

+ A famous thief, who was hanged fome years fince. See vol.

6. p. 151.

Ridiculum acri

Fortius et melius, &c.

Thought no method more commodious,

Than to fhow their vices odious;
Which I chose to make appear,

230

You have cheap enough compounded.
Can you put in higher claims,

Than the owners of St Js?

1.

You are not fo great a grievance,
As the hirelings of St Stephen's.
You are of a lower clafs

Than my friend Sir Robert Brafs.
None of these have mercy found;

245

250