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Written by the Reverend Dr Swift on his own

DEAFNESS.

Ertiginosus, inops, surdus, male gratus amicis ;

Non campana Jonans, tonitru non ab ove mifum, Quod mage mirandum, faltem fi credere fas eft, Non clamofa meas mulier jam percutit aures.

In ENGLISH

DE E AF, giddy, helpless, left alone,

To all my friends a burden grown ; No more I hear

my church's bell, Than if it rang out for

my

knell :
At thunder now no more I start,
Than at the rumbling of a cart:
Nay, what's incredible, alack !
I hardly hear a woman's clack.,

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Å LETTER to Dr HELSHA M. SIR,

Nov. 23. 1731, at night. WHEN HEN I left you, I found myself of the grape's

juice fick: I'm fo full of pity, I never abuse fick; And the patientest patient that ever you knew fick; Both when I am purge-fick, and when I am spue-fick. I pitied my cat, whom I knew by her mew-lick; 5 She mended at first, but now she's anew fick. Captain Butler made fome in the church black and

blue fick; to the Dean Cross, had he preach'd, would have made us

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all pew-fick. Art not you, in a croud, when you fryeat and stew,

fick:

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Lady Santry got out of the church + when she grew

fick, And, as fast as she could, to the deanery flew fick. Miss Morice was (I can assure you ’tis true) fick. For who would not be in that numerous crew fick? Such music would make a fanatic or Jew fick: Yet ladies are seldom at ombre or lue fick;

15 Nor is old Nanny Shales ll, whene'er she does brew,

fick. My footman came home from the church of a bruise

fick, And look'd like a rake, who was made in the stews

fick; But you learn'd doctors can make whom you chuse

fick. Poor I myself I was, when I withdrew, fick,

20 For the smell of them made me like garlick and rue

sick, And I got thro' the croud, tho' not led by a clue, fick. You hop'd to find many (for that was your cue) fick; But there were not a dozen (to give 'em their due)

fick, And those to be sure, stuck together like glue, fick. 25 So are ladies in crouds, when they squeeze and they

screw, fick. You may find they are all, by their yellow pale hue,

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fick;

So am I, when tobacco, like Robin, 'I chew fick,

To

St Patrick's cathedral, where the music on St Cæcilia’s day was usually performed. I Vide Gratton inter Belcamp et Clenshob.

jih

To Dr SHERIDAN.

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Nov, 23. at night. F I write any more, it will make my poor muse

fick. This night I came home with a very cold dew fick, And I wish I may soon be not of an ague. But I hope I shall ne'er be, like you, of a shrew fick, Who often has made me, by looking ascue, fick.

fick ;

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A LETTER to Dr HELSHAM,

SIR,

Pray discruciate what follows.
THE
"HE dullest beast, and gentleman's liquor,

When young, is often due to the vicar.
The dullest of beasts, and swine's delight,
Make up a bird very swift of flight.
The dullest beast, when high in ftature,

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And another of royal nature,
For breeding is

useful creature.
The dullest beast, and a party diftreft,
When too long, -is bad at best.
The dullest beast, and the saddle it wears,
Is good for partridge, not for hares.
The dulleit beast and kind voice of a cat,
Will make a horse go, though he be not fat.
The dullest of beasts and of birds in the air,
Is that by which all Irishmen swear.

15 The dullest beast and fam'd college for Teagues, Is a person very unfit for intrigues.

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The dullest beast and a cobler's tool,
With a boy that is only fit for school,
In summer is very pleasant and cool.
The dullest beast, and that which you

kiss,
May break a limb of master or miss.
Of serpent-kind, and what at distance kills,
Poor Mistress Dingley oft hath felt its bills.
The dullest beast, and eggs unfound,

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Without it I rather would walk on the ground.
The dullest beast, and what covers a house,
Without it a writer is not worth a louse.
The dulleft beast, and scandalous vermin,
Of roaft or boild, to the hungry is charming.

30 The dullest beast, and what's cover'd with crust, There's no body but a fool that would trust. The dulleft beast mending highways, Is to a horse an evil disease. The dullest beast, and a hole in the ground, Will dress a dinner worth five pound. The dullest beast, and what doctors pretend, The cook-maid often has by the end. The dulleft beast, and fish for lent, May give you a blow you'll for ever repent.

40 The dulleft beast, and a shameful jeer, Without it a lady should never appear.

Wednesday night. I writ all these before I went to bed. Pray explain

them for me, because I cannot do it. Vol. VII.

o

PRO

35

PROBATUR ALITER.

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A Long-eard beast, and a field-house for cattle,

Among the coals does often rattle.
A long-ear'd beast, a bird that prates,
The bridegrooms first gift to their mates,
Is by all pious Chriftians thought,
In clergymen the greatest fault.

A long-ear'd beast, and woman of Endor,
If your wife be a scold, that will mend her.

With a long-ear'd beast, and med'cines use, Cooks make their fowl look tight and spruce.

A long-ear'd beast, and holy fable, Strengthens the shoes of half the rabble.

A long-ear'd beast, and Rhenish wine, Lies in the lap of ladies fine.

A long-ear'd beast, and Flanders college, Js Dr T-l to my knowledge.

A long-ear'd beast, and building knight; Cenforious people do in spight.

A long-ear'd beast, and bird of night, We finners are too apt to flight.

A long-ear'd beast, and shameful vermin, A judge will eat, tho clad in ermin.

A long-ear'd beast, and Irish cart, Can leave a mark, and give a smart.

A long-ear'd beast in mud to lie, No bird in air so swift can fly.

A long-ear'd beast, and a sputt'ring old Whig,
I wish he were in it, and dancing a jig.

A long-ear'd beast, and liquor to write,
Is a damnable smell both morning and night.

A long-ear'd beast, and the child of a sheep,
At whift they will make a desperate sweep.

A beast iong-ear'd, and till midnight you stay, Will cover a house much better than clay.

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