fuch knowledge is not to be obtained without a miracle, under the frequent, corrupt, and fottish methods of educating those who are born to wealth or titles. For I would have it remembered, that I do by no means confine thefe remarks to young perfons of noble birth; the fame errors running thro' all families, where there is wealth enough to afford, that their fons (at least the eldeft) may be good for nothing. Why fhould my fon be a scholar, when it is not intended that he fhould live by his learning? By this rule, if what is commonly faid be true, that money answereth all things, why fhould my fon be honeft, temperate, juft, or charitabie, fince he hath no intention to depend upon any of these qualities for a maintenance ?

WHEN all is done, perhaps upon the whole the matter is not fo bad, as I would make it; and God, who worketh good out of evil, acting only by the ordinary courfe and rule of nature, permits this continual circulation of human things for his own unfearchable ends. The father grows rich by avarice, injuftice, oppreffion; he is a tyrant in the neighbourhood over flaves and beggars, whom he calls his tenants. Why should he defire to have qualities infufed into his fon, which himfelf never poffeffed or knew, or found the want of in the acquifition of his wealth? The fon, bred in floth and idleness, becomes a fpendthrift, a cully, a profligate, and goes out of the world a beggar, as his father came in. Thus the former is punished for his own fins, as well as for thofe of the latter. The dunghill, having raised a huge mushroom of fhort duration, is now spread to enrich other men's lands. It is indeed of worfe confequence, where noble families are gone to decay, becaufe their titles and privileges outlive their eftates; and politicians tell us, that nothing is more dangerous to the public, than a numerous nobility, without merit or fortune. But even here God hath likewise prescribed fome remedy in the order of nature; fo many great families coming to an end by the floth, luxury, and abandoned luft, which enervated their breed through every fucceffion, producing gradually a more effeminate race, wholly unfit for propagation.

Α

A LETTER to a very YOUNG LADY on her MARRIAGE*.

T

MADAM,

HE hurry and impertinence of receiving and paying vifits on account of your marriage being now over, you are beginning to enter into a courfe of life, where you will want much advice to divert you from falling into many errors, fopperies, and follies, to which your fex is fubject. I have always borne an entire friendship to your father and mother; and the perfon they have chosen for your husband, hath been for fome years paft my particular favourite; I have long wished you might come together, because I hoped, that, from. the goodness of your difpofition, and by following the counfel of wife friends, you might in time make yourfelf worthy of him. Your parents were fo far in the right, that they did not produce you much into the world; whereby you avoided many wrong fteps, which others have taken, and have fewer ill impreffions to be removed; but they failed, as it is generally the case, in too much neglecting to cultivate your mind; without which it is impoffible to acquire or preferve the friendship and efteem of a wife man, who foon grows weary of acting the lover, and treating his wife like a miftrefs, but wants a reasonable companion, and a true friend, through every ftage of his life. It must be therefore your bufinefs to qualify yourself for thofe offices; wherein I will not fail to be your director, as long as I fhall think you deserve it, by letting you know how you are to act, and what you ought to avoid.

AND beware of defpifing or neglecting my inftructions; whereon will depend not only your making a good figure in the world, but your own real happiness, as well as that of the perfon who ought to be the dearest to you. VOL. VII.

I

*This letter ought to be read by all new married women; and will be read with pleasure and advantage by the most diftinguished and moft accomplished ladies. Orrery.

I must therefore defire you, in the first place, to be very flow in changing the modeft behaviour of a virgin. It is ufual in young wives, before they have been many weeks married, to affume a bold forward look, and manner of talking; as if they intended to fignify in all companies, that they were no longer girls, and confequently that their whole demeanor, before they got a husband, was all but a countenance and conftraint upon their nature: whereas, I fuppofe, if the votes of wise men were gathered, a very great majority would be in favour of those ladies, who, after they were entered into that state, rather chose to double their portion of modefty and reservedness.

I must likewife warn you strictly against the leaft degree of fondness to your husband before any witness whatsoever, even before your nearest relations, or the very maids of your chamber. This proceeding is fo exceeding odious and difguftful to all who have either good breeding or good fenfe, that they affign two very unamiable reasons for it. The one is grofs hypocrify, and the other has too bad a name to mention. If there is any difference to be made, your husband is the lowest perfon in company, either at home or abroad; and every gentleman present has a better claim to all marks of civility and diftinction from you. Conceal your esteem and love in your own breaft, and reserve your kind looks and language for private hours; which are fo many in the four and twenty, that they will afford time to employ a paffion as exalted as any that was ever defcribed in a French romance.

UPON this head I should likewise advise you to differ in practice from thofe ladies who affect abundance of uneafinefs while their hufbands are abroad; ftart with every knock at the door, and ring the bell inceffantly for the fervants to let in their mafter; will not eat a bit at dinner or fupper, if the husband happens to stay out; and receive him at his return with fuch a medley of chiding and kindness, and catechifing him where he has been, that a fhrew from Billingfgate would be a more eafy and eligible companion.

Of the fame leaven are those wives, who, when their husbands are gone a journey, must have a letter

every poft upon pain of fits and hysterics; and a day must be fixed for their return home, without the least allowance for bufinefs, or fickness, or accidents, or weather. Upon which I can only fay, that, in my obfervation, those ladies who are apt to make the greatest clutter on fuch occafions, would liberally have paid a meffenger for bringing them news, that their huf bands had broken their necks on the road.

You will perhaps be offended, when I advise you to abate a little of that violent paffion for fine cloaths fo predominant in your fex. It is a little hard, that ours, for whofe fake you wear them, are not admitted to be of your council. I may venture to affure you, that we will make an abatement at any time of four pounds ayard in a brocade, if the ladies will but allow a fuitable addition of care in the cleanliness + and sweetness of their perfons. For the fatirical part of mankind will needs believe, that it is not impoffible to be very fine and very filthy; and that the capacities of a lady are fometimes apt to fall fhort in cultivating cleanlinefs and finery together. I fhall only add, upon fo tender a fubject, what a pleasant gentleman faid concerning a filly woman of quality, That nothing could make her fupportable but cutting off her head; for his ears were offended by her tongue, and his nofe by her hair and teeth.

I am wholly at a lofs how to advise you in the choice: of company; which, however, is a point of as great importance as any in your life. If your general acquaintance be among ladies, who are your equals or fuperiors, provided they have nothing of what is commonly called an ill reputation, you think you are fafe; and this, in the ftyle of the world, will pafs for good company: whereas I am afraid, it will be hard for you to pick out one female acquaintance in this town, from whom. you will not be in manifeft danger of contracting fome foppery, affectation, vanity, folly, or vice. Your only fafe way of converfing with them, is, by a firm refolution to proceed in your practice and behaviour directly. contrary

S 2

+ The reader will eafily perceive, that this letter and the defcription of a lady's dreffing-room, in vol. 6. p. 353. were not written in England, Hawkes.

contrary to whatever they fhall fay or do. And this I take to be a good general rule, with very few exceptions. For inftance: In the doctrines they ufually deliver to young married women for managing their hufbands their feveral accounts of their own conduct in that particular, to recommend it to your imitation; the reflections they make upon others of their fex for acting differently; their directions, how to come off with victory upon any difpute or quarrel you may have with your hufband; the arts, by which you may discover and practife upon his weak fide; when to work by flattery and infinuation, when to melt him with tears, and when to engage with a high hand: in thefe, and a thousand other cafes, it will be prudent to retain as many of their lectures in your memory as you can, and then determine to act in full oppofition to them all.

I hope your husband will interpofe his authority to limit you in the trade of visiting. Half a dozen fools are, in all confcience, as many as you should require : and it will be fufficient for you to fee them twice a-year; for I think the fashion does not exact, that vifits should be paid to friends.

I advise, that your company at home fhould confift of men, rather than women. To fay the truth, I never yet knew a tolerable woman to be fond of her own sex. I confefs, when both are mixed and well chofen, and put their best qualities forward, there may be an intercourfe of civility and good-will; which, with the addition of fome degree of fenfe, can make conversation or any amufement agreeable. But a knot of ladies, got together by themfelves, is a very school of impertinence and detraction, and it is well if those be the worst.

LET your men-acquaintance be of your husband's choice, and not recommended to you by any fhe-companions; because they will certainly fix a coxcomb upon you, and it will coft you fome time and pains before you can arrive at the knowledge of distinguishing fuch a one from a man of fenfe.

NEVER take a favourite waiting maid into your cabinet-council, to entertain you with hiftories of those ladies whom he hath formerly ferved, of their diversions

and