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with such rubbish! They fand upon the watch-tower! They are indeed pragmatical enough to do so; but who assigned them that post, to give us false intelligence, to alarm us with false dangers, and send us to defend one gate, while their accomplices are breaking in at another ? " They cry to God day and night to avert the judg“ ment of Popery, which seems to haften towards us. Then I affirm, they are “ hypocrites by day, and filthy “ dreamers by night: when they cry unto him, he will • not hear them;" for they cry against the plainest dictates of their own conscience, reason, and belief.
But, lastly, they lie in the duft mourning before him. Hang me, if I believe that, unless it be figuratively spoken. But suppose it to be true, why do they lie in the duft ? Because they love to raise it. For what do they mourn? Why, for power, wealth, and places. There let the enemies of the Queen, and monarchy, and the church, lie, and mourn, and lick the dust like serpents, till they are truly sensible of their ingratitude, falsehood, disobedience, sander, blasphemy, fedition, and every evil work.
I cannot find in my heart to conclude, without offering his Lordship a little humble advice upon some certain points.
First, I would advise him, if it be not too late in his life, to endeavour a little at mending his style, which is mighty defective in the circumstances of grammar, propriety, politeness, and smoothness. I fancied at first it might be owing to the prevalence of his passion, as peo. ple sputter out nonsense for haste when they are in a rage. And indeed I believe this piece before me hath received some additional imperfections from that occasi
But whoever hath heard his fermons, or read his other tracts, will find him very unhappy in the choice and disposition of his words; and, for want of variety, repeating them, especially the particles, in a manner very grating to an English ear. But I confine myself to this introduction, as his last work ; where, endeavouring at rhetorical flowers, he gives us only bunches of thistles; of which I could present the reader with a plentiful crop ;
but I refer him to every page and line of the pamphlet itfelf.
Secondly, I would most humbly advise his Lordship to examine a little into the nature of truth, and fome. times to hear what she says. . I shall produce two instances
among an hundred. When he asserts, that we are " now in more danger of Popery than towards the “ end of King Charles II.'s reign;" and gives the broadeft hints, that the Queen, the ministry, the parliament, and the clergy, are just going to introduce it; I defire to know, whether he really thinks truth is of his fide, or whether he be not sure jhe is against him ? If the latter, then truth and he will be found in two different stories ; and which are we to believe? Again, when he gravely advises the Tories' not to light the fires in Smitha feld, and goes on, in twenty placés already quoted, as if the bargain was made for Popery and savery to enter ; I ask again, whether he hath rightly confidered the nature of trath? I desire to put a parallel case. Suppose his Lordship hould take it into his fancy to write and publish a letter to any gentleman of no infamous charaEter for his religion or morals ; and there advise him with great earnestness not to rob or fire churches, ravish his daughter, or murder his father ; fhew him the fin and the danger of these enormities ; that if he flattered himself he could escape in disguise, or bribe his jury, he was. grievõusly mistaken ; that he must in all probability forfeit his goods and chattels, die an ignominious death, and be cursed by posterity : would not such a gentleman justly think himself highly injured, altho' his Lordship did not affirm, that the said gentleman had picklocks or combustibles ready ; that he had attempted his daughter, and drawn his sword againft his father in order to ftab him ? whereas, in the other case, this writer affirms over and over, that all attempts for introducing Popery and Navery are already made, the whole : business concerted, and that little less than a miracle can prevent our ruin.
THIRDLY, I could heartily with his Lord'hip would not undertake to charge the opinions of one or two; and those probably nonjurors, upon the whole body of the nation that differs from him. Mr Leslie writ a pro
pofal posal for an union with the Gallican Church; somebody else hath carried the neceffity of priesthood in the point of baptism farther than Popery ; a third hath asserted the independency of the cburch on the fate, and in many things ar7 aigned the supremacy of the crown: then he speaks in a dubious insinuating way, as if some other Popish tenets had been already advanced ; and at laft concludes in this affected ftrain of despondency, What will all these ihings end in ? and on what dengn are they driven ? Alas, it is too visible ! It is as clear as the sun, that these authors are encouraged by the ministry, with a design to bring in Popery; and in Popery all these things will end.
I never was fo uncharitable to believe, that the whole party, of which his Lord thip professeth himself a member, had a real formed design of establishing Atheism among us.
The reason why the Whigs have taken the Arbeifts or Freethinkers into their body, is, because they wholly agree in their political schemes, and differ
very little in church power and discipline. However, I could turn the argument against his Lordship with very great advantage, by quoting passages from fifty pam. phlets wholly
made up of Whiggism and Atheism, and then conclude, What will all these things end in and on what design are they driven? Alas, it is too visible !
LASTLY, I would beg his Lordship not to be so exceedingly outrageous upon the memory of the dead, because it is highly probable, that in a very short time he will be one of the number. He hath in plain words given Mr Wharton the character of a most malicious, revengeful, tracherous, lying, mercenary villain. To which I shall only say, that the direct reverse of this amiable description is what appears from the works of that most learned divine, and from the accounts given me by those who knew him much better than the Bi. shop seems to have done, I meddle not with the moral part of this treatment. God almighty forgive his LordThip this manner of revenging himself; and then there will be but little consequence from an accusation, which the dead cannot feel, and which none of the living will believe.
A complete COLLECTION of GENTEEL :and In
GENIOUS CONVERSATION, according to the miost polite mode and method now used at court, and in the best companies in England *.
IN THRE DIALO G.U E S.
* By SIMON W A GST AF F, Efq;
As my life hath been chiefy, spent in consulting the
honour and welfare of my country for more than forty years past, not without answerable success, if the world and my friends have not flattered me; so there is no point wherein I have so much.. laboured, as that of improving and polishing all parts of converfation be. tween persons of quality, whether they meet; by acci dent or invitation, at meals, tea, or visits, mornings, noons, or evenings.
I have passed perhaps more time than any other man of my age and country in visits and assemblies, where the polite persons of both sexes distinguish themselves; and could not without much grief observe how frequently both gentlemen and ladies are at a loss for questions, answers, replies, and rejoinders. However, my concero was much abated, when I found that these defects were not occafioned by any want of materials, but be.
* This treatise appears to have been written with the famo view, as the tritical essay on the faculties of the wind (vol. 2.) but upon a more general plan. The ridicule, uhich is there confined to literary composition, is here extended to conversation : but its object is the same in both; the repetition of quaint phrases picked up by rote either from the living or the dead, and applied upon cvery occasion to conceal ignorance or stupidity, or to prevent the labour of thoughts to produce native sentiment, and combine Such words as will precisely expressit. Hawkes.
cause those materials were not in every hand. For in. stance, one lady can give an answer better than ask a question: one gentleman is happy at a reply; another excels in a rejoinder : one can revive a languishing conversation by a sudden surprising fentence; another is more dextrous in seconding; a third can fill the gap with laughing, or commending what has been said. Thus fresh hints may be started, and the ball of the discourse kept up.
But alas! this is too seldom the case, even in the most select companies. How often do we see at court, at publick visiting days, at great mens levees, and other places of general meeting, that the conversation falls and drops to nothing, like a fire without supply of fewel? This is what we all ought to lament; and against this dangerous evil I take upon me to affirm, that I have in the following papers provided an infallible remedy.
It was in the year 1695, and the fixth of his late Majesty King William lll. of ever glorious and immortal memory, who rescued three kingdoms from Popery and savery, when, being about the age of fix and thirty, my judgment mature, of good reputation in the world, and well acquainted with the best families in town, I determined to spend five mornings, to dine four times, pass three afternoons, and fix evenings, every week, in the houses of the most polite families, of which I would confine myself to fifty; only changing as the masters or ladies died, or left the town, or grew out of vogue, or funk in their fortunes, or (which to me was of the highest moment) became disaffected to the government: which practice I have followed ever since to this very day; except when I happened to be sick, or in the spleen upon cloudy weather; and except when I en. tertained four of each sex at my own lodgings once in a month, by way of retaliation.
I always kept a large table- book in my pocket; and as soon as I left the company, I immediately entered the choicest expressions that passed during the visit; which, returning home, I transcribed in a fair hand, but somewhat enlarged: and had made the greatest part of my collection in twelve years, but not digested into any method; for this I found was a work of infinite labour,