number ftrewed here and there in the comedies and other fantastic writings of that age.

THE Honourable Colonel James Graham, my old friend and companion, did likewife, towards the end of the fame reign, invent a fet of words and phrases, which continued almoft to the time of his death. But, as these terms of art were adapted only to courts and politicians, and extended little farther than among his particular acquaintance, (of whom I had the honour to be one), they are now almost forgotten.

NOR did the late D. of R and E. of E fucceed much better, altho' they proceeded no farther than fingle words; whereof, except bite, bamboozle, and one or two more, the whole vocabulary is antiquated.

THE fame fate hath already attended those other town wits, who furnish us with a great variety of new terms, which are annually changed, and thofe of the laft feafon funk in oblivion. Of thefe I was once favoured with a complete lift, by the Right Honourable the Lord and Lady H, with which I made a confiderable figure one fummer in the country; but returning up to town in winter, and venturing to produce them again, I was partly hooted, and partly not understood.

THE only invention of late years, which hath any way contributed towards politenefs in difcourfe, is that of abbreviating or reducing words of many fyllables into one, by lopping off the reft. This refinement having begun about the time of the revolution. I had fome share in the honour of promoting it; and I obferve, to my great fatisfaction, that it makes daily advancements, and I hope in time will raise our language to the utmost perfection; altho' I must confefs, to avoid obfcurity, I have been very sparing of this ornament in the following dialogues.

BUT as for phrafes invented to cultivate converfation, I defy all the clubs of coffee-houfes in this town to invent a new one, equal in wit, humour, fmartness, or politenefs, to the very worst of my fet; which clearly fhews, either that we are much degenerated, or that the whole ftock of materials hath been already employed. I would willingly hope, as I do confidently believe, the latter; because,

because, having myself for feveral months racked my invention to enrich this treasure (if poffible) with some additions of my own, (which, however, fhould have been printed in a different character, that I might not be charged with impofing upon the public), and having fhewn them to fome judicious friends, they dealt very fincerely with me, all unanimously agreeing that mine were infinitely below the true old helps to difcourse, drawn up in my prefent collection, and confirmed their opinion with reafons by which I was perfectly convinced, as well as afhamed of my great presumption.

BUT I lately met a much stronger argument to confirm me in the fame fentiments. For, as the great Bishop Burnet of Salisbury informs us, in the preface to his admirable History of his own times, that he intended to employ himself in polishing it every day of his life, (and indeed, in its kind, it is almoft equally polished with this work of mine); fo it hath been my conftant business, for fome years paft, to examine with the utmoft ftrictness, whether I could poffibly find the fmalleft lapfe in ftyle or propriety, through my whole collection, that, in emulation with the Bishop, I might fend it abroad as the moft finished piece of the age.

It happened on a day, as I was dining in good company of both fexes, and watching, according to my custom, for new materials wherewith to fill my pocket-book, I fucceeded well enough, till after dinner, when the ladies retired to their tea, and left us over a bottle of wine. But I found we were not able to furnish any more materials that were worth the pains of tranfcribing for the difcourfe of the company was all degenerated into smart fayings of their own invention, and not of the true old standard; so that, in abfolute despair, I withdrew, and went to attend the ladies at their tea: from whence I did then conclude, and ftill continue to believe, either that wine doth not infpire politeness, or that our fex is not able to fupport it without the company of women, who never fail to lead us into the right way, and there to keep us.

IT much increafeth the value of thefe apophthegms, that unto them we owe the continuance of our language for at least an hundred years. Neither is this to be wonVOL. VII.

Y

dered

dered at; because indeed, befides the fmartness of the wit, and fineness of the raillery, fuch is the propriety and energy of expreffion in them all, that they never can be changed, but to disadvantage, except in the circumftance of ufing abbreviations: which, however, I do not defpair in due time to fee introduced, having already met them at fome of the choice companies in town.

ALTHO' this work be calculated for all perfons of quality and fortune of both fexes: yet the reader may perceive, that my particular view was to the officers of the army, the gentlemen of the inns of court, and of both the univerfities to all courtiers, male and female, but principally to the maids of honour, of whom I have been perfonally acquainted with two and twenty fets, all excelling in this noble endowment; till, for fome years paft, I know not how, they came to degenerate into felling of bargains and Freethinkers: not that I am against either of thefe entertainments at proper feafons, in compliance with company, who may want a tafte for more exalted difcourfe, whofe memories may be fhort, who are too young to be perfect in their leffons, or (altho' it be hard to conceive) who have no inclination to read and learn my inftructions. And befides, there is a strong temptation for court-ladies to fall into the two amusements above mentioned, that they may avoid the cenfure of affecting fingularity, against the general current and fashion of all about them. But however, no man will pretend to affirm, that either bargains or blafphemy, which are the principal ornaments of Freethinking, are so good a fund of polite discourse, as what is to be met with in my collection. For as to bargains, few of them feem to be excellent in their kind, and have not much variety, because they all terminate in one fingle point; and to multiply them, would require more invention than people have to fpare. And as to blafphemy or Freethinking, I have known fome fcrupulous perfons of both fexes, who, by a prejudiced education, are afraid of fprights. I must however except the maids of honour, who have been fully convinced by a famous court-chaplain, that there is no fuch place as hell.

I cannot indeed controvert the lawfulness of Free

thinking,

thinking, because it hath been univerfally allowed, that thought is free. But, however, altho' it may af ford a large field of matter, yet, in my poor opinion, it feems to contain very little of wit or humour; because it hath not been ancient enough among us to furnish established authentic expreflions, I mean fuch as muft receive a fanction from the polite world, before their authority can be allowed. Neither was the art of blafphemy or Freethinking invented by the court, or by perfons of great quality, who, properly speaking, were patrons, rather than inventors of it; but first brought in by the Fanatic faction towards the end of their power, and after the restoration carried to Whitehall by the converted rumpers; with very good reason; because they knew that King Charles II. from a wrong education, occafioned by the troubles of his father, had time enough to obferve, that Fanatic enthusiasm directly led to Atheifm, which agreed with the diffolute inclinations of his youth; and perhaps thefe principles were farther cultivated in him by the French Hugonots, who have been often charged with spreading them among us. However, I cannot fee where the neceffity lies of introducing new and foreign topics for conversation, while we have fo plentiful a stock of our own growth.

I have likewife, for fome reafons of equal weight, been very fparing in double entendres; because they often put ladies upon affected constraints, and affected ignorance. In short, they break, or very much intangle the thread of difcourfe. Neither am I master of any rules to fettle the difconcerted countenances of the females in fuch a conjuncture; I can therefore only allow innuendoes of this kind to be delivered in whispers, and only to young ladies under twenty, who being in honour obliged to blush, it may produce a new subject for difcourfe.

PERHAPS the critics may accufe me of a defect in my following fyftem of Polite Conversation; that there is one great ornament of difcourfe, whereof I have not produced a fingle example; which indeed I purposely omitted, for fome reasons that I fhall immediately offer: and if those reasons will not fatisfy the male part of

my gentle readers, the defect may be supplied in fome manner by an appendix to the fecond edition; which appendix fhall be printed by itself, and fold for fixpence, ftitched, and with a marble cover, that my readers may have no occafion to complain of being defrauded.

THE defect I mean is, my not having inferted into the body of my book, all the oaths now moft in fashion for imbellishing difcourfe; efpecially fince it could give no offence to the clergy, who are feldom or never admitted to thefe polite affemblies. And it must be allowed, that oaths well chofen, are not only very useful expletives to matter, but great ornaments of style.

WHAT I fhall here offer in my own defence upon this important article, will, I hope, be fome extenuation of my fault.

Firft, I reafoned with myfelf, that a juft collection of oaths, repeated as often as the fashion requires, muft have enlarged this volume, at leaft, to double the bulk; whereby it would not only double the charge, but likewife make the volume lefs commodious for pocketcarriage.

Secondly, I have been affured by fome judicious friends, that themfelves have known certain ladies to take offence (whether seriously or no) at too great a profufion of curfing and fwearing, even when that kind of ornament was not improperly introduced; which, I confess, did startle me not a little, having never observed the like in the compass of my own female acquaintance, at least, for twenty years paft. However, I was forced to fubmit to wifer judgments than my own.

Thirdly, As this moft ufeful treatife is calculated for all future times, I confidered in this maturity of my age, how great a variety of oaths I have heard fince I began to study the world, and to know men and manAnd here I found it to be true, what I have read in an ancient poet,

ners.

For now-a-days men change their oaths,

As often as they change their cloaths.

IN fhort, oaths are the children of fashion; they are in fome fenfe almost annuals, like what I observed be

fore