VICISSITUDES EXPERIENCED IN THE CHRISTIAN LIFE. I SUFFER fruitless anguish day by day, Each moment, as passes, marks my pain; The more I strive the more I am withstood; My spirit finds no rest, performs no good, My peace of heart is fled, I know not where ; My happy hours, like shadows, passed away; What profit is there in incessant tears? Views not my sorrows, hears not when I plead ; Pierced with a thousand wounds, I yet survive ; Hell seems to lose its less tremendous fires. My life extinguished, and yet death denied. Whence then, I cry, the pangs that I sustain? Suffering, I suffer not; sincerely love Yet feel no touch of that enlivening flame; I search my heart, and not a wish is there, A sea of doubts, and self the source of all. I ask not life, nor do I wish to die; And if thine hand accomplish not my cure, I would not purchase with a single sigh, A free discharge from all that I endure. I groan in chains, yet want not a release; Have neither plan, nor fear, nor hope, nor heart. My soul is a forgotten thing; she sinks, Language affords not my distress a name,— When Love departs, a chaos wide and vast, Then tell me why these ages of delay? O Love, all excellent, once more appear, Disperse the shades, and snatch me into day, From this abyss of night, these floods of fear! No-Love is angry, will not now endure A sigh of mine, or suffer a complaint; He wounds, and hides the hand that gave the blow; Yet I adore thee, though it seem in vain. And wilt thou leave me, whom, when lost and blind, Thou didst distinguish and vouchsafe to choose, Before thy laws were written in my mind, While yet the world had all my thoughts and views? Now leave me? when, enamoured of thy laws, What can have caused the change which I deplore? 'Tis thine without reserve, most simply thine; And loves, and seeks thee, for Thyself alone. Pain cannot move it, danger cannot scare; Pleasure and wealth, in its esteem, are dust; It loves thee, even when least inclined to spare Its tenderest feelings, and avows thee just. 'Tis all thine own; my spirit is so too, An undivided offering at thy shrine; Love, holy Love! and art thou not severe, From all self-bias, generous and unmixed. But I am silent, seeing what I see, And fear, with cause, that I am self-deceived; Live Thou, and reign for ever, glorious Lord! WATCHING UNTO GOD IN THE NIGHT SEASON. SLEEP at last has fled these eyes, Nor do I regret his flight, More alert my spirits rise, And my heart is free and light. Nature silent all around, Not a single witness near; God as soon as sought is found, And the flame of love burns clear. Interruption, all day long, Checks the current of my joys; Creatures press me with a throng, And perplex me with their noise. Undisturbed I muse all night, Life, with its perpetual stir, Proves a foe to Love and me; Fresh entanglements occur, Comes the night, and sets me free. Never more, sweet sleep, suspend Hush the world, that I may wake Oh the pleasures I partake, God the partner of my nights! David, for the self-same cause, Sleep, self-lovers, is for you ;- ON THE SAME. SEASON of my purest pleasure, Find, in watching, my repose. Silence all around prevailing, Nature hushed in slumber sweet, No rude noise mine ears assailing, Now my God and I can meet : Universal nature slumbers, And my soul partakes the calm, Breathes her ardour out in numbers, Plaintive song or lofty psalm. Now my passion, pure and holy, Is an evil, matched by none. Worldly prate and babble hurt me; Neither teach me, nor divert me; 'Tis the secret fear of sinning Checks my tongue, or I should say, When I see the night beginning, I am glad of parting day : Love this gentle admonition Whispers soft within my breast; "Choice befits not thy condition, Acquiescence suits thee best." Henceforth, the repose and pleasure Quarrelling with thy decrees; Wayward nature finds the occasion,'Tis her folly and disease. Night, with its sublime enjoyments, Now no longer will I choose; Nor thy day, with its employments, Irksome as they seem, refuse; |