V. And dangers little known, VI. To reach the distant coast; Or all the toil is lost. THE MODERN PATRIOT. I. I only wish ’twould come A little nearer home. II. On tother side th’Atlantic, But most so when most frantic. ears. III. That man shall be my toast, IV. The choicest flow'rs she bears, your V. Though some folks can't endure them, Who say the mob are mad outright, VI. Such strings for all who need 'em- Then farewell British freedom. ON OBSERVING SOME NAMES OF LITTLE NOTE RECORDED IN THE BIOGRAPHIA BRITANNICA. Oh, fond attempt to give a deathless lot So when a child, as playful children use, REPORT OF AN ADJUDGED CASE NOT TO BE FOUND IN ANY OF THE BOOKS. I. BETWEEN Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose, The spectacles set them unhappily wrong; The point in dispute was, as all the world knows, To which the said spectacles ought to belong. So Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause With a great deal of skill, and a wig full of learning; III. And yourlordship, he said, will undoubtedly find, That the Nose has had spectacles always in wear, Which amounts to possession time out of mind. IV. Then holding the spectacles up to the courtYour lordship observes they are made with a straddle, As wide as the ridge of the Nose is; in short, V. ("Tis a case that has happen'd, and may be again) That the visage or countenance had not a Nose, Pray who would, or who could, wear spectacles then? VI. On the whole it appears, and my argument shows With a reasoning, the court will never condemn, That the spectacles plainly were made for the Nose, And the Nose was as plainly intended for them. VII. Then shifting his side, (as a lawyer knows how) He pleaded again in behalf of the Eyes: But what were his arguments few people know, For the court did not think they were equally wise. VIII. So his lordship decreed with a grave solemn tone, Decisive and clear, without one if or butThat, whenever the Nose put his spectacles on, By daylight or candlelight-Eyes should be shut! |