« ForrigeFortsett »
your design; especially since we find you are • resolved to preserve your taciturnity as to all
party-matters. We do not question but you
are as great an orator as Sir Hudibras, of · whom the poet sweetly sings,
He could not ope “ His mouth, but out there flew a trope.
will send us down the half dozen well ' turned periods that produced such dismal
effects in your muscles, we will deposit them near an old manuscript of Tully's orations, among the archives of the university ; for we all agree with you,
that there is not a more * remarkable accident recorded in history, since
that which happened to the son of Crasus; nay, I believe you might have gone higher, and have added Balaam's ass.
We are impa• tient to see more of your productions, and
expect what words will next fall from you,
with as much attention as those who were fet ' to watch the speaking head which Friar Bacon formerly erected in this place. We are,
" Worthy Sir,
• Your most humble servants,
• B. R. T. D. &c.'
• HONEST SPEC, Middle-Temple, June 24.
AM very glad to hear that thou beginnest
to prate; and find, by thy yesterday's vifion, thou art so used to it that thou canst
not forbear talking in thy sleep. Let me only • advise thee to speak like other men, for I am • afraid thou wilt be very queer, if thou dost • not intend to use the phrases in fashion, as " thou callest them in thy second Paper. Hast • thou a mind to pass for a Bantamite*, or to • make us all Quakers? I do assure thee, dear • Spec, I am not polished out of my veracity, • when I subscribe myself
Thy constant admirer,
• FRANK TOWNLY.'
N° 561. Wednesday, June 30, 1714.
Paulatim abolere Sichaum Incipit, & vivo tentat prevertere amore Jampridem refides animos desuetaque corda.
Virg. Æn. i. 724. < But he • Works in the pliant bosom of the fair, • And moulds her heart anew, and blots her for
mer care. • The dead is to the living love resign'd, . And all Æneas enters in her mind.'
AM a tall, broad-shouldered, impudent, I
black fellow, and, as I thought, every way qualified for a rich widow : but after aving tried my fortune for above three years • See No. 557, Let.
together, I have not been able to get one single relict in the mind. My first attacks
were generally successful, but always broke • off as soon as they came to the word settle
ment. Though I have not improved my for'tune this way, I have my experience, and have • learnt several secrets which may be of use to • these unhappy gentlemen, who are commonly
distinguished by the name of Widow-hunters, ! and who do not know that this tribe of wo
men are, generally speaking, as much upon « the catch as themselves. I shall here com'municate to you the mysteries of a certain • female cabal of this order, who call themselves • the Widow-CLUB. This Club consists of nine • experienced dames, who take their places once a week round a large oval table. • I. Mrs. President is a person who has disposed of fix Husbands, and is now determined • to take a seventh; being of opinion that there " is as much virtue in the touch of a seventh • Husband as of a seventh fon. Her comrades are as follow: • II. Mrs. Snapp, who has four jointures, by four different Bedfellows, of four different • fhires. She is at present upon the point of marriage with a Middlesex man, and is said
to have an ambition of extending her poslef' sions through all the counties in England, on • this side the Trent.
« III. Mrs. Medlar, who, after two Husbands • and a Gallant, is now wedded to an old gen• gleman of sixty. Upon her making her report
' to the Club after a week's cohabitation, she is • still allowed to sit as a Widow, and accord• ingly takes her place at the board.
• IV. The widow Quick, married within a • fortnight after the death of her last Hụsband. • Her weeds have served her thrice, and are • still as good as new.
• V. Lady Catherine Swallow. ' a widow at eighteen, and has since buried a 6 second Husband and two Coachmen.
• VI. The Lady Waddle. She was married in the 15th year of her age, to Sir Simon · Waddle, knight, aged threescore and twelve,
by whom she had twins nine months after • his decease. In the 55th year of her age
The 6 was married to James Spindle, esq. a youth • of one-and-twenty, who did not out-live the • Honey-moon.
• VỊi. Deborah Conquest. The case of this lady is something particular. She is the relict • of Sir Sampson Conquest, some time justice • of the Quorum. Sir Sampson was seven foot
high, and two foot in breadth from the tip of
one shoulder to the other. He had married " three Wives, who all of them died in child6 bed. This terrified the whole sex, who none • of them durst venture on Sir Sampson. At
length Mrs. Deborah undertook him, and gave so good an account of him, that in three years time the very fairly laid him out, and • measured his length upon the ground. This • exploit has gained her so great a reputation in • the Club, that they have added Sir Sampson's
• three victories to hers, and give her the merit • of a fourth widowhood; and she takes her
- VIII. The widow Wildfire, relict of Mr. • John Wildfire, fox-hunter, who broke his ' neck over a six-bar gate. She took his death • so much at heart, that it was thought it I would have put an end to her life, had she • not diverted her sorrows by receiving the ad• dresses of a gentleman in the neighbourhood, s who made love to her in the second month s of her widowhood. The gentleman was dif• carded in a fortnight for the sake of a young
Templar, who had the possession of her för
six weeks after, till he was beaten out by a • broken officer, who likewise gave up
to a gentleman at court. The courtier was as
short-lived a favourite as his predecessors, but • had the pleasure to see himself succeeded by ' a long series of lovers, who followed the wi. «dow Wildfire to the 37th year of her age, at
which time there entered a cessation of ten
years, when John Felt, haberdasher, took it • in his head to be in love with her, and it is • thought will very suddenly carry her off.
' IX. The last is pretty Mrs. Runnet, who & broke her first Husband's heart before she was • fixteen, at which time she was entered of the • Club, but soon after left it upon account of a • second, whom she made so quick a dispatch
of, that she returned to her seat in less than a ' twelvemonth. This young matron is looked upon as the most rising member of the Society, VOL. VIII,