| very well.

Mrs. Pinch. Lord, what pleasure you take to

Re-enter Mrs. PINCHWIFE, hear it sure !

Pinch. No, you take more in telling it I find ; | Come, minx, sit down and write. but speak, how was't ?

Mrs. Pinch. Ay, dear bud, but I can't do't
Mrs. Pinch. He carried me up into the house
next to the Exchange,

Pinch. I wish you could not at all,
Pinch. So, and you two were only in the room ! Mrs. Pinch. But what should I write for?

Mrs. Pinch. Yes, for he sent away a youth Pinch. I'll have you write a letter to your lover. that was there, for some dried fruit, and China Mrs. Pinch. O Lord, to the fine gentleman a oranges.

| letter!
Pinch. Did he so? Damn him for it-and Pinch. Yes, to the fine gentleman.

Mrs. Pinch. Lord, you do but jeer ; sure you
Mrs. Pinch. But presently came up the gentle jest.
woman of the house.

Pinch. I am not so merry: come, write as I Pinch, 0, 'twas well she did ; but what did he

bid you. do whilst the fruit came ?

Mrs. Pinch. What, do you think I am a fool ?
Mrs. Pinch. He kissed me a hundred times, Pinch. [ Aside.] She's afraid I would not dic-
and told me he fancied he kissed my tine sister, | tate any love to him, therefore she's unwilling.--
meaning me, you know, whom he said he loved [Aloud.] But you had best begin.
with all his soul, and bid me be sure to tell her Mrs. Pinch. Indeed, and indeed, but I won't,

'anu w desire ner to be at ner window, by | so I won't.
eleven of the clock this morning, and he would Pinch. Why?
walk under it at that time.

Mrs. Pinch. Because he's in town ; you may
Pinch. And he was as good as his word, very | send for him if you will.
punctual ; a pox reward him fort!

Aside. Pinch, Very well, you would have him brought Mrs. Pinch. Well, and he said if you were not to you; is it come to this? I say, take the pen within, he would come up to her, meaning me, you and write, or you'll provoke me. know, bud, still.

Mrs. Pinch. Lord, what d'ye make a fool of Pinch. (Aside.] So—he knew her certainly; but me for? Don't I know that letters are never writ for this confession, I am obliged to her simplicity. but from the country to London, and from London - Aloud.) But what, you stood very still when he into the country? Now he's in town, and I am kissed you?

in town too; therefore I can't write to him, you Mrs. Pinch. Yes, I warrant you; would you

know. have had me discovered myself ?

Pinch. [Aside.] So, I am glad it is no worse ; Pinch. But you told me he did some beastliness she is innocent enough yet. - [Aloud.] Yes, you to you, as you call it ; what was't ?

may, when your husband bids you, write letters Mrs. Pinch. Why, he put

to people that are in town. Pinch. What?

Mrs. Pinch. O, may I so ? then I'm satisfied. Mrs. Pinch. Why, he put the tip of his tongue Pinch. Come, begin :-Sir

[Dictates. between my lips, and so mousled me—and I said, Mrs. Pinch. Shan't I say, Dear Sir ?—You I'd bite it.

know one says always something more than bare Pinch. An eternal canker seize it, for a dog! sir.

Mrs. Pinch. Nay, you need not be so angry Pinch. Write as I bid you, or I will write whore with him neither, for to say the truth, he has with this penknife in your face. the sweetest breath I ever knew.

Mrs. Pinch. Nay, good bud-Sir [Writes. Pinch. The devil ! you were satisfied with it Pinch. Though I suffered last night your then, and would do it again?

nauseous, loathed kisses and embraces-Write! Mrs. Pinch. Not unless he should force me. Mrs. Pinch. Nay, why should I say so? You

Pinch. Force you, changeling! I tell you, no know I told you he had a sweet breath. woman can be forced.

Pinch. Write! Mrs. Pinch. Yes, but she may sure, by such a Mrs. Pinch. Let me but put out loathed. one as be, for he's a proper, goodly, strong man; Pinch. Write, I say ! 'tis hard, let me tell you, to resist him.

Mrs. Pinch. Well then.

[Writes. Pinch. [Aside.] So, 'tis plain she loves him, yet Pinch. Let's see, what have you writ?-[Takes she has not love enough to make her conceal it the paper and reads.] Though I suffered last from me; but the sight of him will increase her night your kisses and embraces-Thou impudent aversion for me and love for him ; and that love creature! where is nauseous and loathed? instruct her how to deceive me and satisfy him, all | Mrs Pinch. I can't abide to write such filthy idiot as she is. Love ! 'twas he gave women first words. their craft, their art of deluding. Out of Nature's | Pinch. Once more write as I'd have you, and hands they came plain, open, silly, and fit for slaves, question it not, or I will spoil thy writing with this. as she and heaven intended 'em ; but damned Love I will stab out those eyes that cause my mischief. -well-I must strangle that little monster whilst

[Holds up the penknife. I can deal with him.- [ Aloud.] Go fetch pen, ink, Mrs. Pinch. O Lord ! I will. and paper out of the next room.

Pinch. So-50-let's see now.-[Reads.] Though Mrs. Pinch. Yes, bud.

[Exit. | I suffered last night your nauseous, loathed kisses Pinch. Why should women have more invention and embraces-go on-yet I would not have you in love than men ? It can only be, because they presume that you shall ever repeat them80have more desires, more soliciting passions, more

[She writes. lust, and more of the devil.

Mrs. Pinch. I have writ it.

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Pinch. On, then I then concealed myself from but I fear 'twas to my wife-[Aloud.] What, have your knowledge, to avoid your insolencies.

you done?

[She writes. Mrs. Pinch. Ay, ay, bud, just now. Mrs. Pinch. So,

Pinch. Let's see't : what d'ye tremble for? what, Pinch. The same reason, now I am out of your you would not have it go ? hands

[She writes. Mrs. Pinch. Here—[ Aside.] No, I must not Mrs. Pinch. So

give him that : so I had been served if I had given Pinch. Makes me own to you my unfortunate, him this.

[He opens and reads the first letter. though innocent frolic, of being in man's clothes Pinch. Come, where's the wax and seal ?

[She writes. Mrs. Pinch. [Aside.] Lord, what shall I do Mrs. Pinch. So

now? Nay, then I have it-[Aloud.] Pray let me Pinch. That you may for evermore cease to pur see't. Lord, you think me so arrant a fool, I can. sue her, who hates and detests you- [She writes on. not seal a letter; I will do't, so I will. Mrs. Pinch. So. Heigh!

(Sighs. (Snatches the letter from him, changes it for the other, Pinch. What, do you sigh ?-detests you-as seals it, and delivers it to him. much as she loves her husband and her honour Pinch. Nay, I believe you will learn that, and

Mrs. Pinch. I vow, husband, he'll ne'er believe other things too, which I would not have you. I should write such a letter.

Mrs. Pinch. So, han't I done it curiously?-Pinch. What, he'd expect a kinder from you? [Aside.) I think I have; there's my letter going Come, now your pame only.

to Mr. Horner, since he'll needs have me send Mrs. Pinch. What, shan't I say Your most letters to folks. faithful humble servant till death ?

Pinch. 'Tis very well; but I warrant, you would Pinch. No, tormenting fiend !--[Aside.] Her not have it go now? style, I find, would be very soft.—[ Aloud.] Come,

Mrs. Pinch. Yes, indeed, but I would, bud, wrap it up now, whilst I go fetch wax and a candle ; I now. and write on the backside, For Mr. Horner. (Exit. Pinch. Well, you are a good girl then. Come,

Mrs. Pinch. For Mr. Horner. So, I am glad | let me lock you up in your chamber, till I come he has told me his name. Dear Mr. Horner! but back ; and be sure you come not within three why should I send thee such a letter that will vex strides of the window when I am gone, for I have thee, and make thee angry with me? _Well, I will a spy in the street.-[Exit Mrs. PinchWIFE, not send it.-Ay, but then my husband will kill | PinchWIFE locks the door.] At least 'tis fit she me for I see plainly he won't let me love Mr. | thinks so. If we do not cheat women, they'll cheat Horner, but what care I for my husband ?-I us, and fraud may be justly used with secret enewon't, so I won't, send poor Mr. Horner such a mies, of which a wife is the most dangerous; and letter-But then my husband—but oh, what if. I he that has a handsome one to keep, and a frontier writ at bottom my husband made me write it ?- | town, must provide against treachery, rather than Ay, but then my husband would see't.-Can one open force. Now I have secured all within, I'll have no shift? ah, a London woman would have | deal with the foe without, with false intelligence. had a hundred presently. Stay-what if I should

(Holds up the letter. Exit. write a letter, and wrap it up like this, and write upon't too? Ay, but then my husband would see't -I don't know what to do.-But yet evads I'll try, so I will—for I will not send this letter to SCENE III.-Horner's Lodging. poor Mr. Horner, come what will on't. Dear, sweet Mr. Horner-[Writes, and

Enter HORNER and Quack. repeats what she writes. 1-50my husband would

Quack. Well, sir, how fadges the new design ? have me send you a base, rude, unmannerly letter ; have you not the luck of all your brother projectors, but I won't - 80 -- and would have me forbid |

to deceive only yourself at last ? you loving ine; but I won't - 80 — and would

Horn. No, good domine doctor, I deceive you, have me say to you, I hate you, poor Mr. Horner ; it seems, and others too; for the grave matrons, but I won't tell a lie for him—there—for I'm and old rigid husbands think me as unfit for love, sure if you and I were in the country at cards as they are ; but their wives, sisters, and daughters together-S0–I could not help treading on your know, some of 'em, better things already. toe under the table--80-or rubbing knees with Quack. Already ! you, and staring in your face, till you saw me Horn. Already, I say. Last night I was drunk very well--and then looking down, and blushing | with balf-a-dozen of your civil persons, as you call for an hour together-so—but I must make haste 'em, and people of honour, and so was made free before my husband comes : and now he has taught of their society and dressing-rooms for ever hereme to write letters, you shall have longer ones from

after ; and am already come to the privileges of me, who am, dear, dear, poor, dear Mr. Horner, sleeping upon their pallets, warming smocks, tying your most huml le friend, and servant to command shoes and garters, and the like, doctor, already, till death,-MARGERY PinchWIFE.

already, doctor. Stay, I must give him a hint at bottom-80 Quack. You have made good use of your time, now wrap it up just like t'other-so-now write For Mr. Horner-But oh now, what shall I do Horn. I tell thee, I am now no more interrupwith it? for here comes my husband.

tion to 'em, when they sing, or talk bawdy, than a

little squab French page who speaks no English. Re-enter PINCHWIFE.

Quack. But do civil persons and women of Pinch. [Aside. I have been detained by a honour drink, and sing bawdy songs ? sparkish coxcomb, who pretended a visit to me;' Horn. O, amongst friends, amongst friends.


For your bigots in honour are just like those in hither: I am trying if Mr. Horner were ticklish, religion ; they fear the eye of the world more than and he's as ticklish as can be. I love to torment the eye of Heaven ; and think there is no virtue, the confounded toad ; let you and I tickle him. but railing at vice, and no sin, but giving scandal. Sir Jasp. No, your ladyship will tickle him They rail at a poor, little, kept player, and keep better without me, I suppose. "But is this your themselves some young, modest pulpit comedian to buying china? I thought you had been at the be privy to their sins in their closets, not to tell china-house. 'em of them in their chapels. '

Horn. [ Aside.] China-house! that's my cue, Quack. Nay, the truth on't is, priests, amongst I must take it.- [ Aloud.] A pox! can't you keep

women now, bave quite got the better of us lay- your impertinent wives at home? Some men are confessors, physicians.

troubled with the husbands, but I with the wives; Horn. And they are rather their patients ; but but I'd have you to know, since I cannot be your

journeyman by night, I will not be your drudge by Enter my Lady FIDGET, looking about her.

day, to squire your wife about, and be your man of Now we talk of women of honour, here comes one. straw, or scarecrow only to pies and jays, that Step behind the screen there, and but observe, if I would be nibbling at your forbidden fruit; I shall have not particular privileges with the women of be shortly the hackney gentleman-usher of the reputation already, doctor, already. [Quack retires. town.

Lady Fidg. Well, Horner, am not I a woman Sir Jasp. [Aside.) He ! he! he! poor fellow, of honour? you see, I'm as good as my word.

he's in the right on't, faith. To squire women Horn. And you shall see, madam, I'll not be about for other folks, is as ungrateful an employbehind-hand with you in honour ; and I'll be as ment, as to tell money for other folks.– [Aloud.] good as my word too, if you please but to withdraw

He ! he ! he ! be’n't angry, Horner. into the next room.

Lady Fidg. No, 'tis I have more reason to be Lady Fidg. But first, my dear sir, you must angry, who am left by you, to go abroad indecently promise to have a care of my dear honour.

alone; or, what is more indecent, to pin myself Horn. If you talk a word more of your hon upon such ill-bred people of your acquaintance as our, you'll make me incapable to wrong it. To this is. talk of honour in the mysteries of love, is like Sir Jasp. Nay, prithee, what has he done? talking of Heaven or the Deity, in an operation of | Lady Fidg. Nay, he has done nothing. witchcraft, just when you are employing the devil : | Sir Jasp. But what d'ye take ill, if he has done it makes the charm impotent.

nothing? Lady Fidg. Nay, fy! let us not be smutty. Lady Fidg. Ha! ha! ha! faith, I can't but But you talk of mysteries and bewitching to me; I laugh however ; why, d'ye think the unmannerly don't understand you.

| toad would come down to me to the coach ? I was Horn. I tell you, madam, the word money in a fain to come up to fetch him, or go without him, mistress's mouth, at such a nick of time, is not a which I was resolved not to do; for he knows more disheartening sound to a younger brother,

china very well, and has himself very good, but than that of honour to an eager lover like myself. will not let me see it, lest I should beg some; but

Lady Fidg. But you can't blame a lady of my I will find it out, and have what I came for yet. reputation to be chary.

Horn. [ Apart to Lady Fidget, as he follows her Horn. Chary! I have been chary of it already, to the door.) Lock the door, madam.-[Exit Lady by the report I have caused of myself.

FIDGET, and locks the door.) – [Aloud.] So, she Lady Fidg. Ay, but if you should ever let other has got into my chamber and locked me out. Oh women know that dear secret, it would come out. | the impertinency of woman-kind! Well, sir JasNay, you must have a great care of your conduct; per, plain-dealing is a jewel ; if ever you suffer your for my acquaintance are so censorious, (oh, 'tis a wife to trouble me again here, she shall carry you wicked, censorious world, Mr. Horner !) I say, are home a pair of horns; by my lord mayor she shall; so censorious, and detracting, that perhaps they'll though I cannot furnish you myself, you are sure, talk to the prejudice of my honour, though you

yet I'll find a way. should not let them know the dear secret.

Sir Jasp. Ha í ha! he !-[ Aside.] At my first Horn. Nay, madam, rather than they shall pre coming in, and finding her arms about him, tick. judice your honour, I'll prejudice theirs; and, to ling him it seems, I was half jealous, but now I see serve you, I'll lie with 'em all, make the secret | my folly.-[Aloud.] He ! he! he ! poor Horner. their own, and then they'll keep it. I am a Horn. Nay, though you laugh now, 'twill be my Machiavel in love, madam.

turn ere long. Oh women, more impertinent, Lady Fidg. 0, no sir, not that way.

more cunning, and more mischievous than their Horn. Nay, the devil take me, if censorious monkeys, and to me almost as ugly!--Now is she women are to be silenced any other way.

throwing my things about, and rifling all I have; Lady F'idg. A secret is better kept, I hope, by but I'll get into her the back way, and so rifle her a single person than a multitude ; therefore pray

for it. do not trust anybody else with it, dear, dear Mr.

Sir Jasp. Ha ! ha! ha! poor angry Horner. Horner.

Horn. Stay here a little, I'll ferret her out to

you presently, I warrant. [Exit at the other door. Enter Sir JASPER FIDGET.

[Sir Jasper talks through the door to his wife, she answers Sir Jasp. How now !

from within. Lady Fidg. [Aside.] O my husband !- prevented | Sir Jasp. Wife! my lady Fidget! wife! he is —and what's almost as bad, found with my arms | coming in to you the back way. about another man—that will appear too much Lady Fidg. Let him come, and welcome, which what shall I say ?-[Aloud.] Sir Jasper, come 'way he will.

Sir Jasp. He'll catch you, and use you roughly, | Re-enter Lady Fidget with a piece of china in her hand, and be too strong for you.

and HORNER following. Lady Fidg. Don't you trouble yourself, let him

Lady Fidg. And I have been toiling and moiling if he can.

for the prettiest piece of china, my dear. Quack. [Aside.) This indeed I could not have

Horn. Nay, she has been too hard for me, do believed from him, nor any but my own eyes.

what I could.

Mrs. Squeam. Oh, lord, I'll have some china Enter Mrs. SQUEAMISH.

too. Good Mr. Horner, don't think to give other Mrs. Squeam. Where's this woman-hater, this

people china, and me none; come in with me too. toad, this ugly, greasy, dirty sloven ?

Horn. Upon my honour, I have none left now. Sir Jasp. [ Aside.] So, the women all will have

Mrs. Squeam. Nay, nay, I have known you him ugly : methinks he is a comely person, but deny your china before now, but you shan't put me his wants make his form contemptible to 'em ; off so. Come.

off so and 'tis e'en as my wife said yesterday, talking of

Horn. This lady had the last there. him, that a proper handsome eunuch was as ridi

Lady Fidg. Yes indeed, madam, to my certain culous a thing as a gigantic coward.

knowledge, he has no more left. Mrs. Squeam. Sir Jasper, your servant : where

Mrs. Squeam. O, but it may be he may have is the odious beast ?

some you could not find. Sir Jasp. He's within in his chamber, with my

Lady Fidg. What, d'ye think if he had had any wife ; she's playing the wag with him.

left, I would not have had it too? for we women of Mrs. Squeam. Is she so ? and he's a clownish

| quality never think we have china enough.

quality never think we beast, he'll give her no quarter, he'll play the wag

Horn. Do not take it ill, I cannot make china with her again, let me tell you : come, let's go

for you all, but I will have a roll-waggon for you help her.-What, the door's locked ?

too, another time. Sir Jasp. Ay, my wife locked it.

Mrs. Squeam. Thank you, dear toad. Mrs. Squeam. Did she so ? let's break it open Lady Fidg. What do you mean by that promise ? then.

[Aside to HORNER. Sir Jasp. No, no, he'll do her no hurt.

Horn. Alas, she has an innocent, literal underMrs. Squeam. No.- [Aside.] But is there no sta


[Aside to Lady Fidget. other way to get in to 'em ? whither goes this? I |

Lady Squeam. Poor Mr. Horner! he has enough will disturb 'em.

(Exit at another door.

to do to please you all, I see.

Horn. Ay, madam, you see how they use me. Enter Old Lady SQUEAMISH.

Lady Squeam. Poor gentleman, I pity you.

Horn. I thank you, madam : I could never find Lady Squeam. Where is this harlotry, this impu- | pity, but from such reverend ladies as you are; the dent baggage, this rambling Tomrigg O Sir Jas young ones will never spare a man. per, I'm glad to see you here; did you not see my

Mrs. Squeam. Come, come, beast, and go dine vile grandchild come in hither just now ?

with us; for we shall want a man at ombre after Sir Jasp. Yes.

dinner. Lady Squeam. Ay, but where is she then ? Horn. That's all their use of me, madain, you where is she? Lord, sir Jasper, I have e'en rattled see. myself to pieces in pursuit of her : but can you tell

Mrs. Squeam. Come, sloven, I'll lead you, to be what makes she here? they say below, no woman

sure of you.

[Pulls him by the cravat. lodges here.

Lady Squeam. Alas, poor man, how she tugs Sir Jasp. No.

him! Kiss, kiss her ; that's the way to make such Lady Squeam. No ! what does she here then? | nice women quiet. say, if it be not a woman's lodging, what makes

Horn. No, madam, that remedy is worse than she here? But are you sure no woman lodges

the torment; they know I dare suffer anything here?

rather than do it. Sir Jasp. No, nor no man neither, this is Mr.

Lady Squeam. Prithee kiss her, and I'll give Horner's lodging.

you her picture in little, that you admired so last Lady Squeam. Is it so, are you sure?

night ; prithee do. Sir Jasp. Yes, yes.

Horn. Well, nothing but that could bribe me : Lady Squeam. So; then there's no hurt in't, I | I love a woman only in effigy, and good painting hope. But where is he?

as much as I hate them.-I'll do't, for I could Sir Jasp. He's in the next room with my wife.

adore the devil well painted. (Kisses Mrs. SQUEAMISH. Lady Squeam. Nay, if you trust him with your

Mrs. Squeam. Foh, you filthy toad ! nay, now wife, I may with my Biddy. They say, he's a merry

I've done jesting. harmless man now, e'en as harmless a man as ever

Lady Squeam. Ha! ha! ha! I told you so. came out of Italy with a good voice, and as pretty,

Mrs. Squeam. Foh! a kiss of hisharmless company for a lady, as a snake without his Sir Jasp. Has no more hurt in't, than one of teeth.

my spaniel's. Sir Jasp. Ay, ay, poor man.

Mrs. Squeam. Nor no more good neither.

Quack. I will now believe anything he tells me. Re-enter Mrs. SQUEAMISH.


Enter Mr. PINCHWIFE, Mrs. Squeam. I can't find 'em.-Oh, are you here, grandmother? I followed, you must know, Lady Fidg. O Lord, here's a man! Sir Jasper, my lady Fidget hither ; 'tis the prettiest lodging, my mask, my mask ! I would not be seen here for and I have been staring on the prettiest pictures-'the world.


Sir Jasp. What, not when I am with you ? myself sufficiently an obliging kind friend and husLady Fidg. No, no, my honour-let's be gone. band ; am I not so, to bring a letter from my wife

Mrs. Squeam. Oh grandmother, let's be gone ; to her gallant ? make haste, make haste, I know not how he may Horn. Ay, the devil take me, art thou, the most censure us.

obliging, kind friend and husband in the world, Lady Fidg. Be found in the lodging of anything ha! ha! like a man !-Away.

Pinch. Well, you may be merry, sir; but in [Exeunt Sir JASPER FIDGET, Lady FIDGET, Old Lady short I must tell you, sir, my honour will suffer no SQUEAMISH, and Mrs. SQUEAMISH.

jesting. Quack. What's here? another cuckold ? he looks Horn. What dost thou mean? like one, and none else sure have any business with Pinch. Does the letter want a comment? Then,

[Aside. | koow, sir, though I have been so civil a husband, Horn. Well, what brings my dear friend hither ? as to bring you a letter from my wife, to let you Pinch. Your impertinency.

kiss and court her to my face, I will not be a cuckHorn. My impertinency !—why, you gentle | old, sir, I will not. men that have got handsome wives, think you have Horn. Thou art mad with jealousy. I never a privilege of saying anything to your friends, and saw thy wife in my life but at the play yesterday, are as brutish as if you were our creditors.

and I know not if it were she or no. I court her, Pinch. No, sir, I'll ne'er trust you any way. kiss her!

Horn. But why not, dear Jack? why diffide in Pinch. I will not be a cuckold, I say; there will me thou know'st so well ?

be danger in making me a cuckold. Pinch. Because I do know you so well.

Horn. Why, wert thou not well cured of thy last Horn. Han't I been always thy friend, honest clap ? Jack, always ready to serve thee, in love or battle, Pinch. I wear a sword. before thou wert married, and am so still ?

Horn. It should be taken from thee, lest thou Pinch. I believe so, you would be my second shouldst do thyself a mischief with it ; thou art now, indeed.

mad, man. Horn. Well then, dear Jack, why so unkind, so Pinch. As mad as I am, and as merry as you grum, so strange to me? Come, prithee kiss me, are, I must have more reason from you ere we dear rogue : gad I was always, I say, and am still part. I say again, though you kissed and courted as much thy servant as

last night my wife in man's clothes, as she confesses Pinch. As I am yours, sir. What, you would | in her lettersend a kiss to my wife, is that it ?

Horn. Ha!

[Aside. Horn. So, there 'tis-a man can't show his 1 Pinch. Both she and I say, you must not design friendship to a married man, but presently he talks it again, for you have mistaken your woman, as you of his wife to you. Prithee, let thy wife alone, and have done your man. let thee and I be all one, as we were wont. What, Horn. [ Aside] O_I understand something thou art as shy of my kindness, as a Lombard now- [Aloud. Was that thy wife! Why wouldst street alderman of a courtier's civility at Locket's! thou not tell me 'twas she ? Faith, my freedom

Pinch. But you are over-kind to me, as kind as with her was your fault, not mine. if I were your cuckold already ; yet I must confess Pinch. Faith, so 'twas.

[Aside. you ought to be kind and civil to me, since I am Horn. Fy! I'd never do't to a woman before so kind, so civil to you, as to bring you this : look her husband's face, sure. you there, sir.

[Delivers him a letter. | Pinch. But I had rather you should do't to my Horn. What is't?

wife before my face, than behind my back ; and that Pinch. Only a love-letter, sir.

you shall never do. Horn. From whom?-how ! this is from your Horn. No-you will hinder me. wife-hum-and hum

[Reads. Pinch. If I would not hinder you, you see by Pinch. Even from my wife, sir : am I not won- her letter she would drous kind and civil to you now too ?- [ Aside.] | Horn. Well, I must e'en acquiesce then, and be But you'll not think her so.

contented with what she writes. Horn. Ha! is this a trick of his or hers? Pinch. I'll assure you 'twas voluntarily writ; I

(Aside. ) had no hand in't you may believe me. Pinch. The gentleman's surprised I find. Horn. I do believe thee, faith. What, you expected a kinder letter?

Pinch. And believe her too, for she's an innoHorn. No faith, not I, how could I ?

cent creature, has no dissembling in her : and so Pinch. Yes, yes, I'm sure you did. A man so fare you well, sir. well made as you are, must needs be disappointed, Horn. Pray, however, present my humble serif the women declare not their passion at first sight vice to her, and tell her, I will obey her letter to a or opportunity.

tittle, and fulfil "her desires, be what they will, Horn. [Aside.) But what should this mean? or with what difficulty soever I do't; and you Stay, the postscript.- [Reads aside.] Be sure shall be no more jealous of me, I warrant her, and you love me, whatsoever my husband says to the you. contrary, and let him not see this, lest he should Pinch. Well then, fare you well ; and play with come home and pinch me, or kill my squirrel. any'man's honour but mine, kiss any man's wife It seems he knows not what the letter contains. I but mine, and welcome.

[Exit. Pinch. Come, ne'er wonder at it so much.

Horn. Ha! ha! ha! doctor. Horn. Faith, I can't help it.

Quack. It seems, he has not heard the report of Pinch. Now, I think I have deserved your you, or does not believe it. infinite friendship and kindness, and have showed Horn, Ha! ha!-now, doctor, what think you?

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